"AITA for criticizing the lunch my husband brought me?"
It's actually not that serious, and kinda silly, but my husband and I need to know who's the real ahole here. So, first, it's important for the story, but my husband and I have been together for nearly 10 years.
In those 10 years, I've discovered (with much horror) that my husband puts mayo in EVERYTHING (pizza, pasta, shepherd's pie, meat, rice, mashed potatoes). I'm most disgusted by the rice and meat, because it's not just a little drop, no, he SMOTHERS them in mayo. He knows I hate it.
Fast forward, I was having a rough shift at work, and I forgot to bring a lunch, so my husband volunteered to bring me one. He made rice, broccoli, and sausage. I was pleased until I opened the box and saw...mayo. Not on the side, no, no...in the rice, on the sausage, EVERYWHERE.
He saw my face and questioned it. I said, "It's been 10 years, have I EVER put mayo in my rice?" He replied that he puts my favorite hot sauce in it and it tastes great together, so he wanted to surprise me with a special sauce.
His points are that it's ungrateful of me to criticize a meal he made and brought for me, even more so when he was trying to please me with a special sauce made of my favorite hot sauce.
My points are that I really appreciate the gesture, but mayo?! Ten years of me being disgusted by his rice smothered in mayo. Ten years of telling him how much it disgusted me, but he still thought it was a good idea. So, AITA?
After reading the comments, OP edited the post to include:
1) Our relationship is great; we're not about to divorce over this anytime soon.
2) I didn't notice the hot sauce at first because it's yellow and was mixed with the mayo, and because of my eye condition, I don't see nuances in colors. Any off-white or colors close to white are just white.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
RoyallyOakie said:
NTA...Putting something you openly dislike into your meal as a "surprise," is not the kind of surprise anyone is going to like. He should know better.
nedodao said:
NTA. Feels like he mostly tried to prove a point than to bring you food you can actually eat. It's like giving someone flowers they hate, but "hey I gave you flowers!"
xkittytoebeansx said:
Nta for telling him the truth. He's known you for a decade. Literally took more work to put an ingredient in he knows you don't like, then gets offended you're not grateful?
It'd be like my friend buying me food and saying "I got you that salad you like but asked for chicken to be mixed into it and paid extra for it. Yeah, you're vegetarian but you should be grateful I brought you food, even if you won't eat it."
Prissy1997 said:
NTA. Putting mayo on rice is grounds for divorce.
dogatthewheel said:
Hey op I know you said this was a “funny story” and “not that serious” but I hope you do take a moment to reflect and see if maybe this is a symptom of something more deep rooted that you’ve been trying not to notice.
Much like the “funny story” I told about how my “friend” stole my diary and read it allowed while I was in the bathroom, sometimes it takes an outsider to point out that something is actually toxic to recognize the truth. People who care about us will make an effort not to hurt us.
His reaction is the most telling; if it was a genuine mistake he would’ve been apologetic about it and offered a solution, instead he guilted you for not appreciating his “gift” and tried to convince you that you were wrong.
ExpertChart7871 said:
NTA - I know my husband hates mayo and hot sauce but loves mustard. I love mayo and hot sauce. Guess what I put on his sandwiches - mustard. Because I pay attention to what he likes and want to please him.
Your husband knows you don’t like mayo. Why would he fix you something you have vocalized over and over that you find disgusting. He just wasted both of your time (him making a meal you wouldn’t eat) and yours (waiting for a meal you won’t eat) and wasted food as well - unless he ate the lunch. I would be grouchy too.