'AITA for embarrassing a man at a party (and upsetting my friend)?'
"AITA for embarrassing a man at a party (and upsetting my friend)?"
Recently, I went to a party with a friend, I’ll call her L, where I didn’t know anyone else but her. Usually, that would be an absolute no for me but she really likes a guy (let’s call him J) who was going so after some begging, I agreed.
While she was talking to the guy she likes, a man started a to talk to me. It turns out, this was the host of the party and a close friend of J but I didn’t know this at the time. He asked what I do for a living and I said that I have an art business.
Without asking any follow-up questions, he immediately started talking about how if “I’m not harnessing the power of social media” my business is doomed to fail. The thing is, I get all my business through social media and have almost 300k followers across different apps.
I tried to explain that I do use social media but he cut me off. He went into a rant about how he has a very successful Instagram account and how I am probably following wrong and outdated advice. He went on and on about content strategies, SEO, and everything else, which I all know about and use successfully.
I know I should have probably stopped him there but he really wasn’t giving me time to reply to anything he was saying. By the end of his almost 10 minute rant (it probably wasn’t THAT long but it sure felt like it), a few other people nearby were also listening. At this point I was annoyed so I asked him, “if you are so successful, could I see your instagram page so I can learn some more tips?”
His account had around 20k followers. He told me to show him my account, and if “I have potential,” he can take me out for dinner and “teach me his secrets.” I showed my Instagram account, which has over 150k followers. A couple of people around asked to see and were complimenting my work. Some of them laughed when they saw the difference in followers between us.
He mumbled something (I couldn’t hear) and walked away, mad and embarrassed. He went to L and J. L came over to me upset, saying I embarrassed her for “bragging” about my follower count and that I should just leave.
I really don’t like to brag about my followers, I know it doesn’t mean everything and I’m so grateful for every follower I have. I was just really annoyed in the moment. L texted me later, saying I should have just ended the conversation before it got to that point or made it clear that I knew what I was doing because by letting him talk for so long, it was embarrassing when he was just trying to help.
Some of my other friends laughed and said I did nothing wrong and that he was the one trying to brag. I probably should have just interrupted him at some point but he really didn’t give me a moment to speak.
I also would have tried to be more tactful if I knew this was a close friend of the guy my friend likes. I did apologize to my friend but the guy has now been giving her the cold shoulder so she’s still upset. AITA? Should I have handled this differently?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
LondonHater558 said:
NTA, you did try to end the conversation before it got to that but he wouldn’t let you. He thought that it was his chance to impress the crowd at your expense but didn’t even consider you actually know what you’re doing and ended up embarrassing himself.
Charming-Barnacle-15 said:
NTA. You should never assume someone doesn't know anything about a topic before initiating a conversation. You also did try to explain the situation to him, but he cut you off.
ElDjee said:
NTA. Dude was negging and discovered natural consequences.
TheOldSchlGmr said:
NTA. You handled it perfectly!! You are a goddess among us mortals.
Flat-Replacement4828 said:
NTA. YOU didn't embarrass this guy. He embarrassed himself. Honestly, you were passive in this whole encounter, it sounds. He requested to see your account, and you honored his request.
drnancy3 said:
NTA how could you have known?