'AITA for expecting my stay-at-home wife to do majority of the housework?'

"AITA for expecting my stay-at-home wife to do majority of the housework?"

I work 40 hours a week and my wife stays home. She decided she wanted to be a stay-at-home, and despite me not agreeing, she did it anyway. I told her dual-income was better because if one of us lost our jobs we'd still be okay, but she said she didn't want to "miss out" on her son's elementary years.

She has a 10-year-old son and I have no kids. We've been married for a year and together for three. Recently, I heard her complaining to her sister on the phone that I just get home and immediately start playing video games. I later confronted her about it, and she said she expects me to do 50% of the household labor.

I disagreed, because on top of my 40 hour job, I also handle 100% of the finances and 100% of the car and house maintenance like cutting the yard, trimming trees, or when something breaks.

She says she's carrying a lot of mental load, and I told her I am too. She seems to think hers is more than mine, but again, I disagree. We just booked an appointment with a therapist to dive deeper, but I was wondering: AITA?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

pachech said:

You're only married for a year. You don't have children together. Get out now- lesson learned.

aeroeagleAC said:

You are getting played.

IngrownToenailsHurt said:

NTA. I wouldn't even bother with the therapy, its just another expense YOU will have to pay. I think you know what you need to do. Until then, just make sure you don't get her pregnant...EVER.

Ok_Young1709 said:

NTA you're quite obviously being used. She wants a free life, free money, free housework etc. tell her to get a job or get a divorce, pick one.

ComplexSevere8771 said:

NTA. Mental load my butt, your wife is lazy. Simple as that. I am a SAHM and I do 100% of housework. It’s only fair. Your wife is leeching off you. If the kid is at school, there isn’t much to miss.

My kids are both at school and between school and after school activities, the only solid time together is during the weekend. I never understand why people stay with partners that are clearly using them.

pinekneedle said:

For SAHMs, care of the children should be the priority. Little ones consume a lot of time and attention. That is a job with no sick leave, or vacation time and its generally 24/7. For those situations, the husband/father who only has a 40 hr/week job should help out as much as possible.

But that is NOT your situation. I assume the 10 year old is in school for a considerable chunk of the day which leaves your wife with quite a few hours free for household chores. Even if she homeschools, a 10 year old does not require the same amount of labor as an infant or toddler(s). Therefore you are NTA Mental load? Like those who are employed outside the home don’t have any of that?