'AITA for exposing my dad's affair during our family vacation?' 'Total MELTDOWN.'
"AITA for exposing my dad's affair during our family vacation?"
Last week, my parents took us on a family trip to a lake upstate. I work away a lot and haven't really been around to see them much so it'd been planned a while in advance at a cabin a relative owns and we'd all been looking forward to meeting up again.
My dad was acting kind of weird in comparison to the last few years the whole time and didn't really engage as much as usual with our mom or the rest of the family, sitting in other rooms more often doing "nothing" and generally being disconnected. A couple days in we were having dinner and I saw his phone dinging with notifications from “Laura” before he moved it from the table into his pocket.
Out of curiosity I looked at his phone as he was watching a movie and it was in the other room and I know his password is my sister's birth year on everything. Turns out he'd been having an affair for months behind my mom's back. He had a ton of back and forward pictures and discussion about meeting up again with another woman.
I was going to keep quiet and focus on finishing the trip before heading back but shit hit the fan during an argument the night after, we collectively got drunk and his behavior came up, things got ugly fast and I dropped a nuke by revealing I'd seen his phone and another woman.
Total meltdown. Mom cried, my sister yelled, and Dad called me a "sneaky little brat" for destroying the family. They left early, and now his side of the family is harassing me for not handling it privately and it's miserable on my Mom's side. But he was never going to tell her. AITA for making sure she knew even if I chose a poor moment?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
epifauna__ said:
NTA - It wasn't great timing but he shouldn't have ruined your family by having an affair. It wasn't your responsibility to keep that secret.
thatgirl_riri3 said:
NTA. Your mom had every right to know and you should not feel guilty, your dad brought it upon himself by having this dirty affair of his.
EarlyMeringue6438 said:
NTA. I will say, I might be a bit biased as someone who recently found out their husband cheated. BUT! Whether you told your mom, he told her, or she found out herself - the information would have sucked. She'd likely be crying anyway. I can't speak for her, but I'M glad you told her, especially if you think your father wouldn't have.
Sure, maybe you could have pulled her to the side and told her privately, but she'd likely be feeling the same way. Also, you didn't destroy the family, he did. He lost his right for having things handled privately when he chose to privately message other women and keep it a secret.
Cybermagetx said:
NTA. And tell them all to f off. He ruined his marriage and family by cheating. And I would ask why they are so hell bent on defending a cheater who they had an affair with? As publicly as possible.
angelicak92 said:
No, HE destroyed the family because he's a cheating, lying scumbag. Also, it was done privately within the family. You didn't post it on social media revealing it or screaming it to the streets. I hope your mother divorces him and takes him for everything she can. NTA.
Cute-Tea5184 said:
NTA. Your dad’s the one who blew up the family, not you. Sometimes honesty sneaks out at the worst moment, but you did your mom a solid. Better late than never, right?
EnvironmentalSir8140 said:
NTA - your Dad confused about who the sneaky little brat is. You did the right thing. Be there for your Mom. She must be devastated. Dad got what he deserved.