"AITA for exposing my sister’s career?"
I, 19F, have a sister, 24F. We’ve never been particularly close, we have different interests and friend groups, but she’s still my sister. She has a tendency to make fun of my hobbies, though it’s never really bothered me until now.
Right now, I’m in college getting an SFX makeup certification, and I’m paying my way through college by face painting. It’s something I started doing in high school for my church’s events and mom’s friend’s kid’s birthday parties.
Now, I’ve got a pretty popular business going in my area, I subcontract to a lot of other entertainers, and I have even been lucky enough to get to face painting at corporate events and big sports teams, and even have gotten to paint celebrities (yes, you’ve heard of them).
My sister is getting her Masters in language arts, and recently moved out. I had no idea where she was getting the money from, since she either quit or got fired from her last waitressing job a little over a year ago, but I assumed she just got a new part-time job without telling anyone.
Last month, my best friend had her bachelorette party at a nearby gentleman's club (she’s a lesbian, because I know people are gonna ask). We’re with mutual friends, having a good time, when I suddenly see…my sister. On the stage.
Now, I’m not a prude, I don’t care how anyone makes their money. If this is how my sister gets her apartment and degree, good on her. I don’t know if she saw me, or knows that I saw her, but I just never brought it up, because why would I?
Fast forward to two days ago. My family does this thing we call “Thankschristmasneween," because most of my family is from around the country and can’t be bothered to get together multiple times in the same three-month span...
So we have one party sometime between October and December when it’s the cheapest to fly and we dress up, decorate the Christmas tree, eat turkey, and light fireworks. I know it sounds insane, but it’s been my favorite part of the year since I was a little kid.
It was during this party that one of my aunts and my grandmother start asking me and my sister about our jobs. My sister starts talking about how she’s got a job as a professor lined up at a local college as soon as she completes her masters, and how much money she’ll make.
Before I have a chance to talk about the event I just booked with a huge client, my sister starts teasing me for my “kiddie job”, talking about how it’s “cute” that I doodle on people’s faces all day, but that it’s not a “real” job, and she doesn’t know why I’m deciding that my life should just be “playing with make-up all day instead of getting a career like an adult."
Now, what I said next was immature, but I was upset. A lot of my contractors do party entertainment for a living, and are very good at what they do, and in my opinion, if your job earns you money, it’s a “real job." So I said: “Oh, an adult career like exotic dancing?”
My aunt was confused, my grandmother scandalized, and my sister was baffled. My aunt asked what I meant, and I told her to ask my sister, who, after some sputtering, said that she “worked as a bartender at an adult club once." Though, after some prodding, she eventually admitted that she has worked there every weekend for the past nine months.
I eventually saw myself out of the conversation, and left the party early, but apparently, word spread fast. My sister has been blowing up my phone nonstop about how “the entire family thinks she’s bad," that our (fairly conservative) parents aren’t speaking to her, and that I ruined her entire career.
Looking back, I feel like it was definitely immature of me, that I should’ve been the bigger person, but honestly, I’m just tired of my job being treated like a joke. So, AITA?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
ESH a little bit, but you are more the AH because you just blew up your sisters family life. Yeah, she's emotionally immature making fun of your chosen job and career, but her being an AH isn't good reason to just blow up her life.
But, in all honesty, you didn't ruin her career because there are a lot of people out there who dance to get through school and then have solid careers afterward. The only thing that might not be reparable is her relationship with the family.
soapsoapsoapsoap1 said:
ESH. She should not make fun of your career. You should not lash out knowing how your family would perceive her.
brobbins8470 said:
NTA. Now she'll know to stop bullying you over your job.
llama_some_drama said:
Yeah, YTA. Her teasing you about your career is not in the same league as you telling your conservative family she is a dancer. You say you don't judge her for it (I do not believe you by the way), but you knew your family would, so yeah, it was rude. You could have just defended yourself, but instead you totally outed her.
simsim_98 said:
NTA. You felt insulted and belittled and blurted the truth out.
brobbins8470 said:
NTA. Now she'll know to stop bullying you over your job