'AITA for kicking my sister out after I caught her?' MINI UPDATE

"AITA for kicking my sister out after I caught her?'

I (37M) have a sister (43F) who likes to play detective. She loves when drama happens in her friendship group and will try to find every detail possible. If a relative shares news about a new job or a new partner, my sister will turn detective and figure out every detail.

In the past, before I got into my permanent role, if I mentioned I had a new job, she’d explore LinkedIn, try and find out who works there, what my salary is and so forth. I used to assume she’s just trying to have a relationship with me and better understanding of that job role.

For general context, I’m not a lawyer, I do not work for MI5, MI6, I’m not a doctor or nurse, but I am someone who works for the World Health Organization (WHO). I can’t say exactly what my job role is as that would expose what I do for work, but I am required to deal with sensitive information.

My parents and sister knew what field of work I wanted to work in and my parents understand I’m handling sensitive information so they don’t ask me about work anymore (their decision). I explained the field briefly to my sister and mentioned that work topics are of limit, unless there’s some general work stuff I can share that isn’t sensitive.

My job is mostly remote, I have to travel to London once a week, thus I keep my office locked up 247, even when I’m using it. I don’t mention my salary or anything but I am in the top 5% of earners of the UK. I’m also single with no dependents so I do admit life’s much easier for me.

Two weeks ago I completed the sale of my first home, a country house. It comes with a massive study which I use for my office, it also comes with a lock so it makes it easy for me to keep it secure. I invited my parents and sister over the weekend just so they can be the first guests. I noticed my sister was gone for a while and went to see what she was doing as mum and dad was wondering.

I discovered my sister was trying to unlock my office door and snoop around. I shouted “what were you doing?” And she jumped. She accused me of being purposefully invasive and not letting people into my “life”. She wants to know my salary, what I do for work and more detail. According to her, she “has the right to know.”

We got into a screaming match as I’ve had enough of her not respecting my boundaries. I’ve explained to her the field I’m in, I’ve explained the basics of my job which hasn’t changed over the years, but I can’t explain the sensitive information I’m dealing with.

Mum and dad heard us, rushed upstairs to find out what the commotion was about and heard us arguing. I kicked my sister out in the end, mum and dad thinks I was being too harsh. I don’t think I was being too harsh, but I would love to know other people's thoughts. AITA?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

PrincessBella1 said:

NTA. Your sister was in the wrong. She has no right to snoop into your personal and business affairs, especially if you deal with sensitive information. You had every right to keep her out.

emptynest_nana said:

Your sister doesn't like to "play detective!!!" She is a nosy, invasive, rude, boundary stomping drama queen who wants to have all the gossip. It isn't cute. It isn't endearing. It isn't quirky.

It is completely high school level bull malarkey and she needs to grow up and respect other people's privacy. NTA. But your sister sure is. Your parents too, to a lesser extent. They should have put their foot down about her sneaky and snooping crap when she was young.

YoshiandAims said:

NTA. That crap is so weird. No one is entitled to anything. She doesn't have the right to know. Your work is classified as sensitive materials. That's the end of it. Even if it wasn't. You are grown. Leading your lives. She's not entitled to your money, documents, belongings, hell, your favorite color if that's something you don't care to share.

She's proven she cannot mentally handle reality. She's proven she will try to break into your home to get at...legally/morally sensitive materials. She's proven she believes she's entitled to things to dizzying heights.

Love her, or not, family or not, she can never be a guest in your home again. And I'd get some home security cameras...even just the Blink systems...particularly in your office. Your parents are wrong. Your sister is a grown woman...this behavior is unhinged and endangers your livelihood. She doesn't need a light chastising and some ice cream.

Sardinesarethebest said:

Nta. Do you think your parents were hoping to get more info from her about your work? I feel like if my parents found out me or my sister (both adults) did something like that they would be both disappointed and furious.

Finn_704 said:

NTA. It doesn't matter if you had 200 cartons of toilet paper stored in that room, it is none of her business.

Pretend_Artist_1823 said:

Your sister should never be allowed to enter your home again and honestly you might want to think about at the very least reducing contact with her.

MINI UPDATE:

I wanted to say thank you to everyone for reading my post, I didn’t expect it to have so many comments as it has. I’m thankful you all agree I’m not the ahole here. I’m also thankful that you guys made me realize I’m not crazy, there is something weird going on with my sister.

She seems obsessive with finding out information, I wonder if it’s OCD or something else. I’m seeing mum and dad this weekend, I’m going to have a conversation with them regarding my sister’s unhealthy obsession. I’m going to offer to pay for her therapy as well. To those who woke me up to this unhealthy obsession my sister has thank you.