'AITA for never allowing a friend to see my daughter because she’s flaky?'

"AITA for never allowing a friend to see my daughter?"

I 20(f) had welcomed my beautiful daughter earlier this year. But every time I post something an old friend who I now have no contact with always asks my best friend what I’m up to and how I’m doing. My best friend still has contact with her but they don’t talk much.

I told my best friend that no matter what just give her the bare minimum and what I mean by that is just tell her that I’m doing good and give her no information about my daughter. I don’t want to come off as rude but I have my reasons. This “friend” and I have always had a pretty difficult friendship.

Let’s call her Emily, Emily 21(f) and I friendship had always been off and on. She always leaves when things get difficult. Her boyfriend breaks up with her it’s my fault. Her long distance boyfriend of 3 weeks blocks her it’s my fault. Her ex boyfriend wants to end their friends with benefit situation because he got a girlfriend, it’s my fault.

She gets her ex to flirt with me and I reject him cause ew it’s my fault. It seemed like everything I did was wrong so I walked around eggshells around her I even hid my now husband from her because every guy I showed interest in she went for. Our last argument was over how she was sleeping with multiple dudes and she wanted to make sure my husband knew.

When I told her he didn’t care and that was disrespectful to ask she told I was being rude and that we weren’t even real friends and she talked behind my back to other friends. So I blocked her and pretty much cut her out of my life. The same day I blocked her she posted my pregnancy before saying how I got pregnant out of wedlock which is not true...

I got married in July and got pregnant in August and when I told her this she thought my pregnancy was fake and she a few choice words to say about my husband, which he has been nothing but nice to her just told her he was interested in her and that he was happy with. Once she was blocked I made sure it stayed that way.

I have a daughter to think about and if I wanted to teach my daughter that having a friend come in and out of your life is ok and badmouthing you every chance something goes wrong then yeah I would’ve stay friends. But I don’t want my daughter to grow up thinking having a flaky friend is ok.

I get some friends come and go but I don’t want her to think that Emily’s behavior is ok and should be swept under the rug. Some people say that I’m overacting and being a little extreme some people are on my side. So please tell me if I’m in the wrong. I don’t think I am in the wrong but if I am, I’ll apologize to Emily but I won’t become her friend again I’m pretty sure that friendship is over.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Ctenochaetus said:

That feeling you're feeling? That's your parenting instincts. Keep listening to them, because it sounds like you have good ones and you won't need the internet's input. NTA.

espressothenwine said:

NTA. This is not flaky behavior, this is downright rude, conniving and inappropriate behavior. I don't know why you tolerated ANY of the things you said your ex friend did.

I would ask your mutual friend - next time she asks, please tell Emily that since you have cut contact and you two are no longer friends, that she doesn't want to talk about you at all because why would she share about your life when you already made the decision to cut her off?

That would put this to bed for good. You can't control what your friend does and she doesn't have to honor this request, but personally I think this is way better than giving any update at all. If your other friend isn't able to keep her mouth shut, then she might have to go as well...

EverRoleplaying said:

NTA. That isn't a flaky friend you're describing, that's someone looking for a punching bag, hence blaming you for their problems. You're under no obligation to allow her into your life, let alone your daughter's life.

Frankly, the amount of interest they show in your personal life borders on creepy, definitely agree that your best friend should keep information to a minimum when it comes to "Emily." Whatever Emily's issues are, they do not entitle her to being a part of you or your family's life.

Rude_Meet2799 said:

NTA - what a toxic person. Try to stay far upwind of that dumpster fire.

TrickEvent2658 said:

NTA, no absolutely not. She's not a friend, a friend doesn't blame you for everything that goes wrong in her life, a friend doesn't post about your pregnancy and lie about it.

thedoomjay said:

NTA. She’s unpredictable, blames you for everything, and already crossed huge boundaries by posting about your pregnancy and talking trash about your husband. You’re protecting your peace and your baby, not being petty. Keeping her out of your life and your daughter’s is the right call.

DealerAlarmed3632 said:

NTA, I was exhausted after just reading about your relationship - I can't imagine how exhausted you are over living it. When a relationship is that exhausting, it's past time to move on.