"AITA for never letting my MIL see my baby again?"
So I (23f) and my fiancè (26m) welcomed a baby girl in October, at first MIL was really great and helpful, but then the other day we asked if we could drop her off for just a few hours, we come back not even 4 hours later and she cut our baby's nails (we were told not to by the pediatrician bc she’s super tiny and they’ll easily fray).
Well now her nails are cracked all the way to the cuticle, we were willing to forgive and forget that one (although I’m still pretty mad bc I wanted to be the one to do it when it was time) well apparently the day before we had dropped our daughter off to her she was at her sister's house whom apparently had the flu, mind you my baby is only 2 months old now...
She didn’t tell us that she was around someone with the flu and I had to find out from Facebook when MIL sister posted and tagged her with “thank you to my amazing friends and family who were here on Xmas and took care of me” when my fiancè messaged her about it she said “well you didn’t get it from me I’m not sick..."
As if she can’t pass a virus from person to person without getting it herself then she tried to blame our friends family that we spent Christmas with even though a handful of their family didn’t show up because they knew there was going to be a baby at their event and they didn’t feel good so they didn’t come, but yea right it’s their fault?!?
So my fiancè told her that if she can’t respect us and our baby enough to let us know when she was around someone who was sick and to not do things to our baby that weren’t done for a reason without even a phone call then she will no longer be in our lives, but are we the AH’s?
I don’t feel like I am but I also want to make sure I’m not blowing this out of proportion oh and also my baby was born at 5 pounds and she’s just touching 8lbs 5oz now at a little over 2 months old.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
LILdiprdGLO said:
If MIL didn't know not to cut baby's nails, that's a forgivable mistake. If she knew her sister had the flu and exposed your baby to her anyway, that's a different story. Have a discussion with MIL, set very clear boundaries and expectations going forward and base your decision on her response.
Starrypetal63 said:
NTA. A newborn that tiny is vulnerable, and your rules aren’t “overprotective,” they’re basic common sense. Cutting nails after you specifically said not to, and then hiding the fact that she’d been around someone with the flu, is two big trust violations. Being a grandma is a privilege, not a right. She doesn’t have to like your boundaries, but she does have to respect them.
Some-Phone-7066 said:
You are NTA; your MIL caused physical injury to your baby by ignoring medical advice and recklessly exposed a vulnerable newborn to the flu without your consent. Protecting your child from someone who hides health risks and causes physical harm is not being dramatic—it is your primary responsibility as a parent.
nostraferatu said:
NTA. MIL knew exactly what she was doing. She was trying to establish dominance over you.
ImportantArtichoke57 said:
Nta. Even your fiance agreed with you. When my mama cut my nephew's nail too short and it drew little bit of blood she cried her eyes out. My mama didn't cut any of her grandbabies nails ever since. What your mil doing were pure negligence.
Linds2022 said:
NTA. When my oldest was 3 months we went to a Christmas gathering on my husband's side, one of his relatives had the flu but didn't bother to tell anyone, and she is a nurse! The next day my son was vomiting like crazy so we rushed him to the hospital, he was so small and dehydrated that it took them forever to put an IV in...
After several failed attempts they had to put it in his forehead. I wish that selfish human would have been there to hear his screams, it's been 13 years and still no acknowledgement or apology.