"AITA for not doing the dishes? I’m very confused."
I (18F) have been with my fiancé (20M) for almost four years. We don’t live together right now because my parents offered to let us rent the house that I currently live in once they move into a different one. Because of that, my fiancé and I decided to put off looking for other housing.
Now onto the issue. I work as a server from 3 p.m. until about 9 p.m., and I don’t get home until almost 10. By the time I shower and find something to eat, it’s close to 11 or even midnight. For the past two days, I’ve had early morning appointments that didn’t finish until around 11 a.m. When I get home from those, I usually try to take a short 30 minute nap before getting up and doing things.
On Wednesday, I asked if my fiancé could come over and spend the night because we only get to see each other on Fridays when our work schedules line up. He works seven days a week, and his Saturday job is closer to my house anyway. My parents said they would talk about it.
Later, on Thursday morning after my appointment my mom told me that I needed to either put away or wash the dishes, which I usually already do. I said that was fine and agreed to put them away. I ended up doing that after my appointment and nap, then got ready and left for work.
Apparently, my dad was upset that the dishes weren’t done, and he said my fiancé couldn’t come over. The problem is that no one told me this I only found out because my sister mentioned it. When I called my dad, he told me that I “never help out around the house,” even though I do half of the chores here.
I told him I would do the dishes and that I didn’t think it was a huge deal since I did what my mom asked. He just hung up on me, so now I don’t know what to think. I’d like to add my dad never asked me to do anything for my fiancé to come over it was my mom. When I explained that I did what she had asked he then got angry and hung up saying he’s not dealing with my “BS."
Here's what people had to say to OP:
JazPrncess1 said:
Move out and live under your own terms and rules. You didn’t do the dishes when they wanted them to be done. You prioritized a nap over your responsibilities.
the_elephant_stan said:
ESH, you gotta make time to do the dishes when you share space, even if you're tired. But the thing about punishments is that you are supposed to telegraph them beforehand. "If you do X, then Y will happen." You dad just randomly forbidding you from having your fiance over is unfair.
jbarr107 said:
This doesn't sound like it's a "dishes" problem...
Kindly-Push-3460 said:
If you live under your parents roof and aren't paying rent then you're somewhat held hostage to their rules until they move out.