'AITA for not getting on an elevator with only a woman on it?' 'She started calling me insecure.'
"AITA for not getting on an elevator with only a woman on it?"
I (25m) have been living in my apartment complex for a few years now and I usually take the elevator when I leave for work during the weekday, most of the time it's just me in it. About two weeks ago, I was about to go into the elevator when I saw a woman, about my age, in it and nobody else.
My mom always told me what to do so I don't make women uncomfortable; don't walk behind them on the sidewalk and cross the street, don't approach if they seem to be alone, be aware of their body language, etc. One of these was to never enter an elevator if there is only a woman on it.
Seeing as it was just her, I turned to take the stairs. It's only like an extra minute or two of my time, and I usually get to work about ten minutes early anyway. For the rest of the week, when I went to work, it was just her in the elevator, so I just took the stairs.
I didn't run into her over the weekend. On Monday the same thing happens, only she is in the elevator and I take the stairs. After that, I just kept to the stairs and stopped trying the elevator.
Saturday comes around, and I was leaving for my friends place. When I left the building, the woman and I guess her friend were going in. We didn't exchange words and just walked past each other. I didn't get back until today when I ran into her friend again, and she stopped me.
She tells me that I was a d for making her friend feel bad and that I should apologize. I ask what I did wrong, she says that I was making her feel self-conscious and it was messing with her self-esteem. I told her that I didn't know what she was talking about, and she just started calling me insecure and to grow up before walking away. Did I miss something that I'm not aware of?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
cnn1k99 said:
NTA, but seriously though, women aren’t children...they can ride an elevator with another person without being scared for their life.
-Ryan_Walker said:
NTA, but there is nothing wrong with entering the elevator. Clearly the woman wasnt gonna mind, but she shouldnt have called you names. And youre a grown man, you can get down however tf you want. Elevator, stairs, ladder, parachute, rope whatever.
RexSki970 said:
NTA. BUT - just be normal ? Like I get what your mom is saying. I love that you want to be respectful. That is WAY more than a lot of men do. So keep those boundaries. However, just get in to elevator. Go about your life. It makes it more uncomfortable when someone in your building avoids you than being in an elevator with someone who lives in your. building. Context matters in situations.
StrawbraryLiberry said:
NTA, a lot of people would be totally fine with not having to share the elevator. It's good exercise to use the stairs anyway.
BriefHorror said:
NTA. You literally did nothing wrong I would just think you're late to something or don't want to take the elevator. I probably wouldn't have even looked up from my phone to know anything happened.
BlueGreen_1956 said:
NTA. Tell that woman to f the hell off. Any man who has any sense these days would NEVER be alone in an elevator with a woman. Not for her "comfort," but to protect yourself.
Women have made it very clear they do not want to be approached by men. They have got what they wanted. Men: Protect yourselves. If she ever approaches you again, tell her she is making you uncomfortable and she should apologize for doing it.