'AITA for not giving my business class seat to my wife on our international flight?'
"AITA for not giving my business class seat to my wife on our international flight?"
My wife (32F) and I (34M) recently took an international trip to visit her family. We travel a lot for work and have built up a lot of frequent flyer miles and airline status. When we booked the tickets, we both got economy seats since that’s what fit our budget.
Two weeks before the flight, my wife and I were sent an email from the airline telling us we were eligible for an upgrade using our miles. I informed my wife about this, and asked her if it was ok to upgrade our tickets. She said that was fine, and to go ahead and upgrade my ticket.
Because we have separate accounts with the airline, she would have to upgrade her own ticket, and I would have to upgrade mine separately. I offered to login to her account and upgrade her ticket when I upgraded mine, but she said that she would do it on her own.
The week leading up to the flight, I had been reminding her to upgrade her ticket, but when the time came to go to the airport, she had not upgraded her ticket. When we got to the airport, I offered to switch tickets with her, but she declined. I went to the business class check-in while she went the economy one.
She seemed too distracted with checking in to be bothered with the ticket situation. But when we boarded the plane and I was heading toward business class, she was confused and asked me why I had not downgraded my ticket in order to sit with her.
I explained to her that I was not aware that she wanted me to sit with her, and she turned away and stormed off to her seat. When we landed, she was snippy with me and made an effort not to talk with me. The whole trip she made little comments about my ticket and refused to talk about it when I asked to.
I sat next to her on the flight back, and she didn't say anything about it, and seemed to be less aggravated. Now that we’re back, she keeps bringing it up in passive-aggressive ways, saying things like “must have been nice to have all that extra room while your wife was cramped in the back.”
I brought this up with some of my friends, some think I was in the right, but others say I should've given up my ticket. AITA for not giving up my seat? EDIT: There was no way I could have upgraded her ticket for her, I don't know her login information and she kept brushing me off. We've only been married for a year.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
NefariousnessFresh24 said:
NTA. 1) You offered to upgrade it for her, she declined. 2) You reminded her to upgrade before the trip, she declined. 3) You offered to switch tickets with her, she declined. Do you see the pattern here? Also, did she ever once mention the idea of "downgrading" your ticket, if that is even possible?
And even if you had, there would have been no guarantee that you'd sit together, since you checked in at different counters, with different attendants, etc. Your wife is being 100% unreasonable, she brought this on herself, and has nobody to blame but herself.
SufficientGanache768 said:
Good news: NTA bad news: you married an idiot.
AltruisticSunday said:
Not even worth commenting, but NTA, of course; your wife made a mistake. Why should you downgrade and be punished when it was solely her fault she missed the window to upgrade.
Rude_Vermicelli2268 said:
NTA. It seems like she was looking for a fight or a reason to be upset.
Pikelets_for_tea said:
NTA. Are snippy remarks and silent treatment typical of her behavior or out of character? Could there be another issue? Have you spoken with her since about her behavior?
Personal-Heart-1227 said:
Your wife is acting like a spoiled 14 year old...Please call her out & speak to her regarding her stinky behaviors over this! NTA.
SnuggleSins said:
NTA. Communication is a two-way street. She had multiple reminders and opportunities to clarify what she wanted. You're not a mind-reader.
CrabbiestAsp said:
NTA. You offered to do it for her and you also reminded her multiple times.