'AITA for not giving my sister the name I planned for my baby?' 'I was STUNNED.'
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"AITA for not giving my sister the name I planned for my baby?"
I (29F) am currently 32 weeks pregnant with my first child. My husband (31M) and I found out we were expecting a baby girl early on, and we were so excited. Ever since I was a teenager, I’ve loved the name Lila (pronounced LIE-luh). It was my great grandmother’s name and has always had deep sentimental value for me. It’s soft, elegant, and just feels right.
My younger sister (26F), let’s call her Rachel, is not pregnant. She’s not even trying. But she and her fiancé have a baby name list they’ve been working on together for a couple years. Totally fine, whatever.
About two weeks ago, I had my baby shower and officially announced that her name would be Lila Grace. Rachel went quiet and then later pulled me aside, upset. She said she had Lila on her list for years too and that I knew that (I honestly didn’t). She said I beat her to it and that it wasn’t fair because she’s always wanted her first daughter to have that name.
I was kind of stunned and said, Well, I’m sorry, but this has been my name forever. I’ve literally told Mom I’d name my daughter Lila since I was like 15. I’m already attached to it.
She told me she thought I’d choose something else since I didn’t mention it during her engagement party when baby names came up in passing (???). I told her I didn’t feel the need to check in with her hypothetical future child before naming my very real one.
Now she’s been cold with me and even told some of our family that I stole her name and undermined her dream. My mom thinks Rachel is being dramatic but also says I could’ve compromised by changing the spelling or middle name.
My husband is firmly on my side and said, we’re not giving up our daughter’s name because your sister made a Pinterest board. So…AITA for sticking with the name I wanted, even if it upset my sister?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
CharlieLush60 said:
NTA. She ain’t even pregnant?? Lila not copyrighted lmao. U 32 weeks, this baby is real. Her baby is just vibes and vibes don’t get naming rights. Keep Lila Grace, it’s beautiful and meaningful.
lookunderthere99 said:
NTA. She’s not even pregnant — how can she claim dibs on a name for a hypothetical child? You’ve had Lila in your heart since you were a teen, it holds real emotional weight, and now you’re actually having a baby. That trumps a name on a wishlist every time. It’s not like you picked it to spite her — she just assumed you’d change course.
Lila Grace is beautiful and meaningful to you. Your sister is being unreasonable and overly possessive about something that isn’t even happening yet. You’re not stealing her dream — you’re living yours.
DescriptionFew6118 said:
Nta. So tired of people thinking that they have a patent to a person's name.
Cindyl2098 said:
NTA. Two of my cousins have the same name, and they never feel annoyed by that, it's just a name.
ManagementFinal3345 said:
NTA. Your child is real and about to be born. It needs a name now. Her child doesn't exist, might never exist, she might never birth a daughter and only have boys, she might deal with infertility, or she might never have kids by choice if she changes her mind. No one knows the future. We can only know the present.
And taking a name from a present baby for a future baby who might never come into being is a little ridiculous. Your sister's future child is only a hypothetical and she can still name her whatever she wants when the time comes. It's not uncommon for cousins to share family names. And there is no guarantee the man she married will choose that name either.
Names are a one no two yes situation. Just because she likes it doesn't mean her babies future father will like or won't be set on his own family name exc. She will have to compromise on baby names with SOMEONE at some point in time weather it's you now or the dad 10 years from now. She can't have it all her way. You both shared the grandmother and it's both your family name to use freely.
weebehemoth said:
NTA - can everyone stop thinking they own names….? If you want to name your child something, JUST NAME THEM. Whoever thinks people can just have a monopoly on names is absolutely deluded and self-centered.