"AITA for not giving up my seat at the bar?"
My girlfriend and I went to a restaurant this weekend with the intention of eating at the bar. We get into the bar area and find every stool is taken and there are about six people standing several feet away, drinking and possibly waiting for a table. Normal stuff.
My girlfriend and I hover near the bar for a few minutes and I spot two guys paying their bill. I approach and ask if they're leaving, they say they are, and so when they get up, we snag the two stools as the bartender clears their plates.
We're sitting there for about 30 seconds before I get a tap on my shoulder. I turn to find a woman behind me, and she says, "We were waiting over there for a spot at the bar, and we were here first."
Now, there is no list or designated area to stand to wait for a spot at the bar. Without hesitating, I kind of laughed, and said, "That's not how bars work." My girlfriend immediately had my back and was like, yeah, getting a spot at the bar doesn't work like that.
The woman was incredulous and repeated herself, but my girlfriend and I just turned around and grabbed our menus and ordered. Of course, 10 minutes later, the woman and her date got a spot directly across from us at the U-shaped bar and gave us the stink eye the whole time, and I think she may have even taken our photo.
It was awkward as hell, but I remained defiant in my reasoning: First come, first serve at a bar. And if the roles were reversed, I would have been like, "Damn! We missed those guys standing up! Better pay more attention."
Still, it was awkward and I felt a little guilty by the time we left. AITA? NOTE: The couple was sitting with drinks at bar stools under the front window, several feet away from the actual bar. The place doesn't have a "you're next" area to wait in. It's a normal bar situation.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
pennywhistlesmoonpie said:
NTA. Nah, that’s not how it works. You snooze; you lose. If you want a spot at the bar, you have to be on top of it.
akaynaveed said:
NTA, good job!
SomeoneYouDontKnow70 said:
NTA. This is why restaurants have a "Please wait here," sign at the front. If no such sign is present, then it's not, "First come, first serve." It's, "You snooze, you lose."
noseeum555 said:
NTA. The bar is. The bar should have a wait list you can sign up for when you get there. This eliminates hovering from people trying to own seats that are soon to open up and also eliminates disagreements like this.
It’s become pretty common in NYC anyway. All bars where people frequently eat should have wait lists! No reservations and the only way you can add yourself to the list is to be there. Works like a charm.
CollarWinter7614 said:
NTA. My husband and I have been in her place before and we just kicked ourselves for not getting there sooner. It’s up for grabs, doesn’t matter who waited longer.
adomingo2 said:
NTA bar seats aren't saved.
Timely-Profile1865 said:
NTA, shuffle your feet and lose your seat. You were alert, they were not.
GuudenU said:
Totally NTA, I tended bar and managed restaurants for 10ish years and you handled that exactly the way you should have. You were firm without being rude and when she wouldn't let it go, you just turned around and ignored her.