'AITA for not helping my broke friend because she got a tattoo?' 'I was being classist.'

"AITA for not helping my broke friend because she got a tattoo?"

One of my friends has been complaining about money a lot recently. It’s gotten to the point where two days ago she said that she was so broke she wasn’t able to afford to eat and was skipping whole days worth of eating because she just had no food.

I felt sympathy because I’ve struggled a lot with finances, I still do a little bit but not as badly as I used to. Since I’m doing okay enough to right now, I offered to help her out with food.

I do a budgeting plan with my meals/meal prep where I use these compartment containers and I’ll make 10 portions of 3 different meals every two weeks. I rotate the menu based on what’s on sale. Then I put them into my deep freezer. I have adhd and this works really well for me.

I have a bit of extra meal stock at the moment because I don’t always eat all the prepared trays before I make the next batch since I always do it every two weeks. I have around 25 extra meals in my freezer right now.

Since I have extra, I was originally just gonna not meal prep at the start of next week, but instead I decided to offer to drop my friend off some of my surplus so she has something to eat.

I was gonna drop it off today after work, but right when I was getting off work I was watching Snapchat stories and saw she posted one. She went and got a tattoo today as part of a Friday the 13th flash thing. I’m familiar with the artist who did the tatt because I recognized their flash from their instagram.

I was considering going in for one, but didn’t do it cause I don’t really have the extra money rn. They’re all pre-priced prices and that one is $180 Idk why but it kinda pmo because she literally just told me about how she was so broke she couldn’t afford to eat, but yet was able to pay for a tattoo.

When I was struggling financially I def didn’t get tattoos. I messaged her about it and asked about how she was able to afford a tattoo and she basically just said “I’m always able to scrounge up cash for new tattoos."

I then told her that I’m not bringing her those meals because if she has enough for a new tattoo, she must not be that desperate. She freaked out on me and called me a b and said I was being classist and that poor people are allowed to have nice things. Which I do agree with, but I feel like it doesn’t apply to this situation. But now I feel like an ahole and my friend is mad at me. AITA?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Wild_Ticket1413 said:

NTA. If she's "always able to scrounge up cash for new tattoos" she should be able to "scrounge up cash" for food too. It sounds as if she was just giving you a sob story to get something for nothing.

ShipComprehensive543 said:

NTA - she was playing you for free food and empathy.

Hot-Negotiation-7794 said:

NTA. Your friend has her priorities screwed up. $180 could buy a lot of food . I got much better managing my money when I was able to strongly differentiate between needs and wants. For every purchase other than basic food items, I ask myself do I really need that.

Craving a tuna sub from Subway; I think about it and decide It is cheaper to make my self a tunafish sandwich. Do I really need that new clothing item? Nope I don’t. I am on a fixed income so I prioritize my spending.

Rent is number one. I am blessed because utilities are included at my complex. Cable and Wi-Fi is included for a reasonable monthly fee you pay with the rent. Then food and medical bills etc. Stand firm on your decision.

WhereWeretheAdults said:

NTA. This is not a friend. This is a manipulator. It's there in her reaction. You, also without a lot of extra money, just got called classist and told poor people are allowed to have nice things.

You see the manipulation there? Since you have something to give her, you aren't poor. Only she is allowed to claim the title and that means she's entitled to your resources. Classic manipulation.

Lizm3 said:

NTA. Poor people are allowed to have nice things, sure, but she's taking advantage of your kindness to buy something that she really didn't need. $180 is a lot of money when you're supposedly too poor to afford food.

paranormal1364 said:

NTA if she can scrounge up cash for a new tattoos, she can scrounge up money for food. She was taking advantage of the fact she was getting food from you as a way to be reckless with her money. There is nothing classist about this situation, she is now making her poor planning your problem.