"AITA for not holding the door for a woman at a daycare?"
Recently, I (38F) switched my daughter to a new daycare. The entry system is similar at both - you enter a code and password into a keypad and it unlocks the door. Only people who are authorized to pick up a child are given the code, and those people have their ID's checked and on file with the daycare.
At the old daycare, the rule was that you are not to hold the door for anyone. Every entrant must use the code to open the door. They didn't explicitly tell me that this was the rule at the new daycare, but I figured it was the case, and it's certainly a policy I appreciate.
The other day was one of my first times at the new daycare. As I entered, an older woman (late 60s) was standing behind me. I coded in and she tried to follow me. I sort of blocked the door with my body and said, "I'm sorry, I think you have to use the entry pad." She said, "Oh, I'm just somebody's grandma!" I said, "Okay, but I still don't think I'm allowed to let you in.
There's a button right there where you can ask the front desk person to let you in." She huffed and said, "Are you really not going to let me in?" I said, "Sorry. I'll let someone inside know you're waiting." And I pulled the door closed behind me and alerted a staff member that someone was waiting.
Maybe 10 seconds later, I hear the door open behind me. The woman was walking behind me, muttering under her breath the whole way and giving me a dirty look once she passed me. I'm certain she thought I was the ahole.
When I told my husband about this, he said I was not the asshole but that I probably should have just let her in. In my opinion, crazy comes in all shapes, sizes, and ages and I'd rather make a situation uncomfortable than potentially unsafe for my child and other children. So, AITA?
Info: The area we were standing in wasn't in any way uncomfortable. It was an interior entry space between a set of doors that open automatically and the door that has the keypad.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
NYCStoryteller said:
NTA. This is a security issue. Sometimes grandma is NOT allowed into daycare. You did the right thing forcing her to be confirmed by the front desk person.
ashcat_marmac said:
You did the right thing!! My gym doesn't allow piggybacking either, everyone understands and SHOULD understand. This is the rule, respect it and the kids will be that much safer.
Good job holding your own and NO no one should just let someone in after them through a secure entrance. Gosh the horror stories I have from property managing apartment buildings, a daycare horror story would be so much worse! NTA and that grandma is a liability.
anonymousreader7300 said:
NTA. The kids’ safety is far more important than this woman’s feelings. It took her 10 extra seconds to get in. Is that really such an inconvenience if it means that the daycare is safe for kids? People are so selfish.
bobhand17123 said:
NTA. You would have been if you let her piggyback. It’s just good security. Since she didn’t say “Oh, okay” with none of or all of the snark she felt like, then you REALLY didn’t want to let her in! I mean, “Somebody’s grandma” doesn’t mean her grandchild attends that school. Maybe she wanted another grandchild without the 9 month wait.
Narwen189 said:
NTA. You don't know her. You have no proof but her word of who she is. You were protecting your child and the others who go there.
MercuryRising92 said:
NTA - you did the right thing and you were very polite. I wouldn't put your husband in charge of security! You don't break protocol to "be nice" - this is exactly what gets people in trouble.
Imsortofok said:
NTA. The process is intended to keep all the children safe from unauthorized people entering. Grandma should appreciate that you wanted her grandchildren safe.
QL58 said:
NTA...Children's safety comes first; her inconvenience is irrelevant.