'AITA for not inviting my sister to my wedding?' 'Her comments planted doubts in his mind.'
"AITA for not inviting my sister to my wedding after years of her sabotaging my relationships?"
I (29F) am getting married in a few months to the love of my life, Jake (32M). Planning the wedding has been a dream, but one major issue has been my older sister, “Sarah” (34F). Sarah and I have always had a rocky relationship. She’s the "golden child" in our family and has always been competitive, especially when it comes to me.
Over the years, Sarah has sabotaged every relationship I’ve had. She once flirted with my high school boyfriend so much that he broke up with me and asked her out (she said no “because of me,” but the damage was done).
When I introduced her to my first serious adult boyfriend, she joked about how I “still snore like a truck” and made fun of me in front of him. He later admitted her comments planted doubts in his mind about me. When Jake and I started dating, I made the mistake of introducing him to her too soon.
She pulled the same antics — calling him her “future brother-in-law” in a flirty tone, making sly digs about my personality, and even telling him I wasn’t "the settling-down type."
Thankfully, Jake saw through her behavior and reassured me that it didn’t bother him. However, it did bother me. When I brought it up to Sarah, she laughed and said I was “too sensitive” and needed to learn how to take a joke. She never apologized.
When I got engaged, Sarah initially acted excited, but then the comments started. She made fun of my dress choice, mocked our wedding theme, and told me I’d “probably chicken out” before walking down the aisle. I’ve tried to brush it off, but deep down, it hurts.
After much thought, I decided not to invite her to the wedding. I don’t want her negativity overshadowing my day. When I told her, she flipped out, saying I was ruining our family dynamic and being “petty.” My parents are pressuring me to reconsider because “she’s your sister, and family is forever.” But I feel like I deserve a drama-free wedding and, frankly, some peace. AITA for not inviting her?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
MusicMuseSara said:
NTA. You've tried to have a relationship with your sister but her behavior has been consistently hurtful and disrespectful. It's your special day and you deserve to enjoy it without any negativity. Your decision to protect your peace is completely valid.
MidnightPositive485 said:
NTA. You are right, you are ruining the family dynamic where your sister shits on you and your parents just let her. As you should. Because you are an adult and you have a right not to tolerate this kind of nonsense.
nanadi1 said:
NTA. Block her and block your parents if they are trying to pressure you. You deserve to have the wedding of your dreams. I hope you do.
Awkward-Bother1449 said:
NTA - Your sister seems like a very unpleasant person to live with. Ask your parents if family is forever, why didn't they ever stop her toxic behavior?
Trailsya said:
NTA. She has no love for you. No reason to invite her. I'd invite the local homeless dude over her. At least he might appreciate the invitation.
murphy2345678 said:
NTA. JAKE DESERVES A DRAMA FREE WEDDING! Your sister will not only ruin your wedding but his as well. Let your parents know that Jake and his family don’t deserve your sister’s harassment. Don’t blame Jake for not inviting her but blame your sister for her inappropriate behavior towards them and you.
Knittingfairy09113 said:
NTA. Tell your parents that if their older daughter behaved like a loving sister vs. a mean-spirited bully, then you would claim her as family in the emotional sense. As it is, you just share a higher degree of genetics with no other ties.
Sammakko660 said:
NTA - explain to her that this is child-free wedding. Anyone who keeps behaving like a mean spoiled brat is not invited.