"AITA for not keeping embarrassing information to myself?"
I dated a woman when I was 18 and she was 24. I thought it was very cool to date an "older" woman. She broke up with me because I was immature, which was fair enough I suppose. I'll call her Laura. None of my friends ever met Laura. Our relationship was four years ago, and I haven't spoken to her since.
I have this friend, and his dad is 45. Laura is 28 now. I found out yesterday that my friend's dad is dating Laura. I was invited to my friend's birthday dinner, and Laura was there. My friend's dad introduced her as his girlfriend, and I said it was a small world, because we used to date.
The mood of the dinner after that was beyond awkward. Laura was glaring at me the whole time. My friend's dad asked when/how long we dated for, and I told him. Laura told him it wasn't a serious relationship. He looked at me for confirmation, and I shrugged. Everyone's definition of serious is different.
Laura texted me late last night (I was already asleep and only got it this morning) to tell me I'm a POS and had no business airing her dirty laundry at my friend's event. I don't see it as airing dirty laundry. I just mentioned we used to date. I acknowledge that it is awkward, but people make choices.
I texted my friend to ask if he was upset that I mentioned it, and he said he was glad I did and his dad needed to hear it, so it's not like I ruined my friend's dinner. I didn't volunteer further information, only gave what was requested. So was I a point of sale, or is Laura being unreasonable to expect me to keep quiet?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Tiny-Relative8415 said:
So she just expected no one to ever know and that you should lie about your previous relationship. She’s the AH.
Alall-love said:
NTA She is embarrassed she dated someone so much younger. And she should be. I do feel badly for her but at the same time, you did nothing wrong. If it ends her relationship with the old goat, then so be it.
BisforBeard said:
She is definitely the AH! You are in the clear on this one.
SovereignLedger said:
Laura is immature.
Low-Support-7090 said:
I mean, it’s just a past relationship, not embarrassing information. I though you were going to reveal like she crapped herself or something lol NTA.
MelodyRaine said:
Laura is the AH. You took a potential embarrassing situation, and put it out in the open where it needed to be. NTA NTA all day.
Longjumping-Trick-71 said:
NTA. All you did was say it was a small world, and that at some point in your past ... you and Laura had a relationship. You didn't say anything important or untrue. It's not your problem or concern that she managed to stay in your circle of friends dating someone's dad. The shady behavior is all on her part.
JeffInVancouver said:
NTA. In your shoes I'd be indignant at being called "dirty laundry." Maybe I'd even play dumb..."What? Are you saying there was something scandalous about our relationship you had you keep secret? I don't understand." Make her spell it out.