'AITA for not letting my sister have her way at my wedding?' 'My wife feels we're being excommunicated.'

"AITA for not letting my sister have her way at my wedding?"

I recently got married, and during my wedding process, my sister was supposed to be a bridesmaid. Now, my engagement was 9 months in length, and we told her that she would be a bridesmaid once I got engaged.

When my fiancé first started dress shopping, she told my sister she wanted all bridesmaids to wear the same style and color. My fiancé asked if she should look at maternity-style dresses so my sister could work on the family expansion, which she had been discussing for the past three years.

My sister said that it was going not to be an issue and we didn't need to worry about her. So, my fiancé picked a dress that she was ok with. A couple of months later, my sister announced she was pregnant. My fiancé contacted her to see how she could help her with the dress alterations. My sister said she would figure it out.

Well, five months later, it's a month before our wedding, and my sister calls me in a fit of rage, saying that I am not allowing her to be a part of my big day. I need to change the dress. It's stupid bad; she has to wear the same dress style, and I need to let her wear a different dress than the other bridesmaids.

At this point, I told her no, she needed to figure it out, and she had a five-plus month plan for this, or she could have told me to back out. For reference sake, we are 3 weeks away from our actual wedding date. At this point as well, my sister plays on my parents' emotions and has my mom and my father start pressuring me into changing and allowing my sister to have her way.

Now granted, the matching is something that both my fiancé and I wanted all the groomsmen to match the bridesmaids, match with a bit of OCD. I had to remove my sister from the bridesmaid party because she could not get into the dress; I had to pay for another dress and makeup for a backup bridesmaid.

Now, my family doesn't talk to me, and my wife feels we're being excommunicated because we didn't let my sister have what she wanted at my wedding. Am I the ahole for telling them that they were all in the wrong?

EDIT:

For clarification on this post, my wife and I did not remove her from the bridal party our mother did. My sister still attended the wedding.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

mdthomas said:

She has months to find a way to make the dress work but waits until three weeks before the wedding to demand she be allowed to wear a different dress? NTA.

accidentallywitchy said:

You’re sister sounds like an entitled ahole. Golden child of the family by any chance? You are NTA.

baka-tari said:

The wedding is all about the couple getting married, pretty much everyone else is irrelevant. Your sister had ample time to address any issues around her pregnancy and the dress she had to wear, but likely procrastinated and realized way too late that she had a problem.

She made it your problem, and you solved it, just not how she wanted it solved. NTA. Too bad your sister can't participate, but hopefully you'll enjoy a wedding day with less drama.

PhilaBurger said:

“You know what, sis? Feel free to wear whichever dress you like. Please note, however, that you’ll be doing so as as a regular guest and no longer a bridesmaid.” NTA.

Jacintaleishman said:

Absolutely NTA. It seems she always sucked the attention from the family. Standing up there in a different dress, baby bump prominent would have insured the attention stayed on her. Enjoy your wedding but expect ongoing drama from her.

wlfwrtr said:

NTA. Before even looking at dresses you tried making allowances for her by checking into dresses that could be expanded. She turned everything down until the last minute screaming how you now had to do what she wanted. You were right to remove her.

Be thankful that family cut you off. Sounds like she's the golden child of the family which mean her children probably will be too. This way you don't have to cut them off when they treat her children better than yours.

Far_Quantity_6133 said:

NTA. Did your sister not realize that pregnancy would change her body? She had plenty of time to bring this up, but instead she waited until the last minute. That’s not your problem.

FragrantOpportunity3 said:

NTA. The only people who should have their way at a wedding are the 2 people getting married.