'AITA for not replacing my 19-year-old nephew's leather jacket?' 'My dog had an accident on it.'

"AITA for not replacing my nephew's leather jacket after my dog had an accident on it?"

We have 3 dogs, 1 of which we took in recently when his owner died. He's nice but prefers quiet and when we have guests he will go upstairs to our bedroom and chill on our bed. Also, he's only ever had dry food and anything different upsets his stomach which causes a hygiene issue as he has long fur.

This weekend we had family over and everyone brought food for a buffet, my 3 brothers, their wives and lots of adult/teen children. We've had issues previously where people don't listen to us about the dogs and sneaking them food is common so as they were coming in I was loudly announcing:

"Don't feed Pickles any treats or human food, anyone caught will be the one upstairs shampooing the poop out of his fur." My SIL Tracy laughed and made some comment about me being unnecessarily graphic so I pointed out that people hadn't listened in the past and I was not playing around this time because Pickles was more sensitive than our other dogs.

Anyway later on my husband found a piece of sausage roll on the floor upstairs. Nephew Dave (19) admitted he'd tried to make friends with Pickles by giving him food. My husband and I were not happy but everyone else brushed it off as not a big deal. I went up to check on Pickles and that's when I realized that everyone had put their coats in our room when they arrived.

They'd always done this in the past and honestly I never thought to tell them different. Anyway he'd obviously eaten something and got an upset stomach, not wanted to come downstairs with a crowd there so he'd had a small accident, some of which had got on Dave's leather jacket. He's never had an accident in the house before.

I called my husband and took Pickles into the shower to get cleaned up. People came up to see what was happening and when Dave saw his jacket he was furious, raised voice and red faced accusing me of making the dog do it on purpose to prove a point.

We cleaned it off with antibacterial wipes and it was fine, no smell or marks on the leather although obviously for hygiene reasons it would need cleaning properly. Well that was the end of the party, everyone left pretty quickly not wanting to be in the middle of it but Dave and Tracy stayed behind yelling until my brother persuaded them to leave saying we'd "sort it out later."

It was a mess but honestly I thought it would blow over but it hasn't. Dave and Tracy are both texting me saying we need to pay around $150 for a new jacket. I keep saying no, it was his own fault and I was the one who ended up cleaning up poop.

Husband was on my side at first but is wavering, he says we knew they'd ignore us and we should've taken more care to put the coats in another room. He said I'm focusing on being technically right, Dave is just a teen and this is not the hill we should die on.

So, AITA? We can afford to replace it. Had Pickles chewed his coat I'd replace it in a heartbeat which makes me think maybe IATA. I offered to pay cleaning but that's not good enough for him.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Snarkyraccoons said:

NTA. 19 years old is old enough to understand that actions have consequences.

EwwDavvidd said:

NTA. If anything, tell Dave you forgive him for making Pickles sick, and he's lucky he didn't have to foot the vet bill. He was instructed not to feed the dog. He did. How is any consequence your responsibility.

SnooSprouts6437 said:

NTA. What part of "don't feed the dog any treats or human food" do they not understand? You made it a point to make sure everyone knew not to feed the dog and even warned them that they would have to pay should he have an accident.

This is what you call Karma. Dave didn't want to listen, sweet pup had an accident on his leather jacket. Maybe next time he will listen. Although I highly doubt it.

owls_and_cardinals said:

NTA. What stands out most to me, here, is the EXTREMELY AHishness of Dave and all your guests that you cannot trust them to follow your expressed statements regarding the pets.

What if the pet actually had something more than a sensitive stomach and faced real medical harm as a result of your guests all thinking the proper thing to do is ignore a pet owner?

This should cause you to decide you cannot trust your family as guests in your home and not welcome there anymore. Whether you decide to replace the jacket to keep the peace or not, I could go either way.

You DO NOT owe it to him but it might help you make your point. Like - here's the money but by the way, you're not welcome at our home any longer.

IamIrene said:

ESH. Dave because he fully disregarded your warning about your dog and fed him anyway. You because you know your dog has issues and you know your family is full of unsympathetic AHs. You failed to protect your dog. You probably should have kept Pickles in a separate area inaccessible to your guests. Sounds like Pickles probably would have liked that anyway.

rosythorn_ said:

NTA. Dave literally FAFO. Actions have consequences buddy. Maybe if ya’ll are lucky he’ll learn to listen now.