"AITA for not taking the high road with my ex-wife?"
My divorce with my ex was finalized six months ago. She's been vague posting about me on her social media, and by vague posting I mean literally just posting about me but not saying my name. One of her favorite things to post about is how I moved into "his mom's basement."
My parents own the building their business is in. There's an apartment on top of the business that they live in, and there is an apartment at the basement level. It's a two bedroom apartment, and I pay full market rent.
The thing that really bothers me is that she is living with her new boyfriend. So she isn't paying any rent at all. Also our son is sleeping on the pullout couch during her weekends. The judge presiding over our case outright said my living situation was "more stable." So she's throwing all this shade at me and trying to act like she "won" the divorce, when that isn't accurate.
I collected screenshots of her posts people sent me and sent them in a WhatsApp group with most of the people we know in it correcting the misinformation. I said that I'm paying rent for an apartment that yes is at the basement level, and yes, my parents do own, but it's for our son's benefit, because my parents or sisters watch him while I'm working.
Meanwhile she doesn't have a bedroom for our son where she lives (rent free), but I do. She only has every other weekend custody, and she isn't doing anything to try and get more. I got a lot of blowback because of my message, and I eventually deleted it. It even became the subject of another vague post from her about obsessed exes.
I don't get how her constantly posting about me isn't obsession? My sister said it's because I named her, and she isn't saying my name, but everyone knows who she is talking about. My sister said not to look at the posts. I don't have social media, but people send me screenshots.
She said to ask people to stop sending them, which, yes, I should do. However, if I shouldn't look at her posts, why is she reading my message I sent to other people? I just feel like the situation is unfair, because she posts with impunity, but the second I respond I'm the ahole. Am I actually an ahole for responding? Or is she for starting it?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
TararaBoomDA said:
The only reason you should monitor her social media is to gather evidence so that you can bring it to court when you go for full custody. Don't respond to her. Just take screenshots and file them away.
ShroomPilot4779 said:
Just concentrate on you & your kid. Ignore her & what she’s doing, if you don’t play her game she can’t beat you. Also stop people sending you screenshots of stuff she posts, that’s just drama-stirring.
MovieLazy6576 said:
NTA but move on. She wants to get a reaction out of you. Live your best life. That will be the best revenge.
CommunicationNew9520 said:
NTA at all. You have the right to set the record straight if she is slandering you.
Prudent-Issue9000 said:
NTA but…if I were you, I’d ignore her and go out and life your best life. Be truly happy. Find a great woman to spend your life with. That stuff is the best revenge.
Geeezzzz-Louise said:
Why do you even care? Move on and stop letting her live in your mind…