"AITA for not telling my friend about my dog dying?"
I (28f) have been friends with my friend (28f) let's call her abby, since middle school. Abby recently had a baby 10 months ago. About a month ago, I was talking to Abby about some work drama and she was giving short responses.
I asked if everything was ok and she kinda snapped on me and told me how hard it's been with the baby and how she doesn't have time for this and from now on, to only talk to her about something "worthy of her time."
I totally get she's in deep being a mama (and she's rocking it!) but I'm a highly sensitive person and I honestly took a big offense to it. In turn I stopped talking about myself and my life completely.
I started only talking to her about her, the baby, her family, topics pertaining to her. It didn't feel like she caught on too much as she hasn't asked me anything about myself since then.
A week ago, my dog woody died. She absolutely loved woody but I didn't tell her about him passing. She texted me 2 days ago asking me why I didn't tell her (she found out through another friend) and I told her I figured she was too busy with the baby, And that I wasn't sure if she had time to talk about it.
She exploded. She told me that obviously something like this would be something she would wanna know about and that I was being petty and it was f'd up of me to take what she said this far.
I kinda see where she's coming from..but honestly don't think I did anything wrong. And I certainly don't think she should be getting angry with me over not telling her?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
wesmorgan1 said:
Oh, you are absolutely NTA. If she says anything else about it, tell her, "Look, you said you didn't have time for my stuff, and I can't read your mind to know what's 'worthy of your time.'"
Weird-Roll6265 said:
So she wants you to talk to her, but only when you reach out to her, it's convenient for her and only about topics she wants to hear about?? This isn't about her being a new mom. Your friendship may have run its course. NTA.
Hamiltonfan25 said:
NTA…kudos to you for trying to give your new mama friend grace, but she honestly sounds like not a great friend.
pennywhistlesmoonpie said:
NTA. Your friend is far from the only person to be extremely busy with a baby. She was rude to you and was clearly shocked she wasn’t in the loop when you lost your beloved pet. Instead of comforting you, she made it alllll about her. Boo.
javel1 said:
NTA and I am not sure why you still talk to her. She's decided that since she's given birth the entire world revolves around her. It happens to some people. I get you tried to let her ask about you, but she's too selfish and wrapped up in her own world to notice.
Right-Ad3026 said:
NTA I wouldn’t bother talking to her at all anymore.
Julie-AnneB said:
NTA - She made it very clear where your life and your needs are on her list of priorities. She should be the one apologizing to you. You showed a lot of grace in continuing to talk to her at all after what she said.