"AITA for not tipping?"
I hired an event planner to help me throw a party. They own the business and are the sole employee. They charge by the hour and require a retainer. I paid their retainer, the planner did a good job and the party went well.
The planner worked fewer hours than the retainer covered, leaving $ from the retainer left over. They let me know that and asked me if I’d like them to send me back the difference via Venmo and said they would be very happy to do so. I said thank you, yes please.
They sent the $ and wrote back asking “in lieu of a gratuity, any positive reviews would be very appreciated." That was the first time it even occurred to me that maybe I should have given a gratuity.
As a service based business owner myself I never even think about whether or not I will get a gratuity (In 10 years only 1 person ever has). I’ve always thought that it’s not really appropriate to tip business owners since they are in control of setting their own rates and pay. AITA for not telling the planner to keep the left over money as a gratuity?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
BetSavings4279 said:
That’s pretty standard follow-up for an event planner. We ask for reviews because that’s how we make money. A tip is nice, but that money gets spent and is gone. A glowing review, however, will continue to pay dividends for years.
She wasn’t asking for a tip, just nudging and saying, “IF you would like to show appreciation for my efforts, instead of the $10 today, can I have the potential of more business?”
Express-Hedgehog8249 said:
NTA and I don’t think they expected a tip either. Sounds like they just wanted a way to remind you to write a nice review.
PrimeRisk said:
NTA. Any service industry in the US is appreciative of tips, but they are not required. If you think they did an above and beyond job, then it is a good idea. Interestingly, they refunded the unused portion of the retainer. Generally retainers are not refundable if they really were retainers, so they're being very legit with you.
They in fact said that their services would cost $X, but since it took less, they gave back the difference. If I were in your shoes, I'd probably tip them and leave them a really good review.
stephrc79 said:
NTA. Everyone here is already saying it, she was just generally asking for a positive review. It’s just bad timing bc she asked after she sent back the other money, so it’s easy to see why you’d think what you did.
Music_withRocks_In said:
NTA. You aren't supposed to tip the owner. But if they did a good job you should 100% leave them a good review.
leftytrash161 said:
NTA. I thought Americans tip service workers because they're paid like garbage? How on earth has that expanded in recent years to include "tip anyone who does their job for you ever regardless of their salary?" If you must tip, tip people who need it.
Night_Owl_26 said:
NTA. You paid their rates, which they set. Not every industry or role warrants a tip.
Sector-West said:
NTA but reviews make a huge difference for solo business owners! They're genuinely worth more than tips!