"AITA for not wanting to buy drinks?"
I (F) am not a drinker I probably have 3 drinks a month, by choice it’s just not something I want to spend my money on or waste sugar (I’m diabetic). I don’t need to have drinks to have a good time and I don’t care if people drink around me. If I want a drink I’ll have one if I don’t I won’t.
Two of my friends (F) go to a local bar by their apartment really often, probably 4-5 times a week and each time they will get a drink. We’ve been there to study and do homework or to just chitchat. We been there so much we know the owner and bartenders and they will give us, mainly them, free drinks a lot.
I’ve bought food from the bar and have had drinks too but over the bar itself is not my vibe and when I am invited to hang there with them I don’t drink just get water. Yesterday they told me to come out with them but I need to buy a drink because the bartenders are “ annoyed” that I don’t buy drinks and that I just sit there and talk to my friends.
They both said I NEED to buy drink because it’s “showing respect “ to the bartenders and their jobs. I expressed that I not going to be made to feel bad for not buying drinks and I’m not obliged todo so If that’s not what I want to do.
If it was an issue they should speak to me about it. Again we are going pretty often in the peak times 4 times a week. On top of that I don’t appreciate that they are allowing the bartenders to talk bad about me when I’m not there.
Am I the issue, should I be buying a drink every time I go? Also they aren’t willing to go and try new bars and find one that I like so why should I spend money at a place I frankly don’t like.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
ladycad said:
NTA for not drinking alcohol, but YTA for sitting there to do homework and chitchat with nothing but a water. If you’re going to take up their seats for a prolonged period of time, etiquette says you should be a paying customer: order a seltzer, a diet soda, an iced tea, an appetizer…something that you pay for.
If you don’t want to hang out there, don’t hang out there. But don’t go and take up a chair that paying customers could use, just so you can sip a free water and be miserable about it. You hate this place but you go sit there 4-5 nights a week anyway? This sounds like a lose-lose.
FairyCompetent said:
The bartender absolutely did not say that, they do not care. Your friends made that up to try to pressure you to drink.
ksleeve724 said:
Soft ESH. It is considered rude to go to a bar/restaurant and not purchase anything. Although it doesn’t necessarily have to be alcohol.
ErikaWasTaken said:
NTA. When I bartended, it was pretty common to have a person in the group just getting water or soda. It never bothered me, and it was cool when the water drinker would tip me a few bucks for keeping them topped up, but it was never expected.
amore-7 said:
YTA. Buy a soft drink.
MustIHaveAName said:
The bartenders and staff are having to serve you but are not making any money off water, so it's a soft ESH. You should at least buy a Diet Coke.
Accomplished_Cod7613 said:
If you want a place to go to study without paying for anything, it's called the library. The bar has every right to ask you to leave if you're not a paying customer. It's not unusual at all for someone to order a non-alcoholic drink at a bar, but it is unusual for someone to go to a bar and expect to not order anything. YTA.
TrainerHonest2695 said:
YTA. Bars are businesses, and are in the business of selling drinks and food. That’s how they survive and pay for employees, lights, insurance, etc. If you’re not at least buying a soft drink or food each time you’re there, you’re a liability instead of a good customer.