'AITA for not wanting to my follow my in-laws' Christmas traditions?'

"AITA for not wanting to my follow my in-laws' Christmas traditions?"

This year, my husband, our toddler, our dog, and I are traveling several hundred miles to spend Christmas with my in-laws. They do not travel. Ever. Not for holidays, not for birthdays, not for anything short of a hurricane evacuation.

Meanwhile, my husband and I both have super demanding jobs and traveling with a toddler is essentially an Olympic sport that requires snacks, screens, and the patience of a saint. But we’re doing it.

This is our first Christmas with them as parents, but I really want our toddler to have a classic Christmas morning experience — pajamas, bedhead, waking up to gifts under the tree in the morning, the whole thing.

But my husband’s family opens almost all of their presents on Christmas Eve, leaving just one “Santa gift” for actual Christmas morning. I grew up with — and we’ve continued as a couple — the full Christmas morning tradition. To me, that’s a big part of the holiday magic.

Worth noting: my husband’s older brother and his family haven’t spent a holiday with my in-laws in YEARS specifically because they want their kids waking up in their own home on Christmas morning to open gifts. So us making this trip — with a toddler and a dog, no less — is already more than what they’re accustomed to.

And then there’s the Christmas Eve dinner tradition. And by “dinner,” I mean cold sandwiches. This apparently started years ago as a quick meal before Christmas Eve church, but they don’t even go to church anymore. Yet, somehow, the sandwiches lived on…

I tried to be a good sport during my first Christmas with them, but my MIL only bought pepperoni because it’s my sister-in-law’s favorite and forgot about everyone else. So yes, we all sat around the table eating pepperoni sandwiches for Christmas Eve dinner like it was the Great Depression. Needless to say… I really missed my family that night.

This year, we gently told my MIL that our toddler probably shouldn’t have deli meat for dinner, and we suggested a seafood boil instead. Luckily, everyone is perfectly happy with that, so crisis averted on the sandwich front. TFG.

The bigger issue is that my husband and I feel like we’re always the ones bending the most — traveling the furthest, rearranging our schedules, and adapting to everyone else’s schtick/crisis dujour. So this year, especially now that we have a toddler, I was hoping we could stick to our own Christmas morning tradition even while staying at his parents’ house.

My husband understands why it matters to me, but he’s upset that I’m asking to change his family’s routine while we’re staying with them. I get where he’s coming from, but these traditions matter to me, and I want to start building holiday memories with our toddler that reflect how we actually want (and have agreed on) to do it for ourselves.

TO CLARIFY: We don’t expect everyone else to wait until Christmas morning, we just want our kid to open gifts then. So, AITA for wanting to keep our Christmas morning gift tradition instead of joining in on the Christmas Eve gift-opening?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Key_Historian6501 said:

Honestly, the fact that the in-laws don’t bend on anything while you rearrange your whole life to be there is the real issue. You’re not demanding they stop their tradition; you’re just asking to do yours with your child.

There’s no reason both can’t coexist. If they want to open presents on Christmas Eve, fine, but they don’t get to dictate how you celebrate with your own kid the next morning.

DuckosFavorite said:

Follow BIL’s lead and stay home. They get to dictate the traditions in their own home, and if those are not the traditions that you want to maintain, and you have every right to politely decline their invitation so that you can follow your own traditions in your own home.

AlpineLad1965 said:

You need to stay home for Christmas next year and stop always going to his parents every year. What about your family, do you even see them for holidays?

ThisWeekInTheRegency said:

Just don't give your presents to your toddler on Christmas Eve - or only give a little one. And next year, stay at home and invite them. They don't travel? They miss out. NTA.

Clean_Permit_3791 said:

Making a toddler open a load of gifts then expecting them to go to sleep is just down right mean! If the kid has a pile of gifts they want to play they’d have forgotten all about them by the morning! NTA. Stay home!

highgarden said:

The pepperoni sandwiches sent me. NTA. Christmas shouldn’t be miserable just because it’s tradition.