'AITA for not wanting my GF to send me check-ins when she's out?'

"AITA for not wanting my GF to send me check-ins when she's out?"

So I've been seeing this girl for a few months now and she has a tendency of checking in with me every time she goes out. Like recently she had a girls day out with some friends and texted me when she was heading out. I said cool, have fun. Text me when you're back home safe.

I thought this would be the last time I heard from her until she was back home, but no...she proceeded to send me a detailed play by play of the entire day pretty much every 15 minutes. Like did you even enjoy the moment with your friends? Or were you just on your phone texting me updates the whole time?

Later that evening we had a call and I told her that she really should just enjoy her time with her friends instead of texting me and she proceeded to say that she just wanted to make sure I knew she was still okay and having fun. She seemed upset that I didn't appreciate the effort she put into sending me those updates.

I low-key suspect she was with someone who was super controlling and jealous before, but I genuinely don't care about all that stuff and I told her that as long as she just texts me that she got home safe at the end of the night, I'm good. So am I the ahole for wanting her to just enjoy spending time with her friends and stop texting me those annoying check-ins?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

joanoffart_ said:

NTA at all, but also be gentle about how you phrase it, as you said I imagine she was with someone very insecure in the past and got used to sending updates all the time.

StuffIanWrote said:

NTA. You may be right about a prior controlling partner. Also, some people seem to just really like to share what’s going on with someone they care about in real time while they’re apart. She might be that type. (I’d much rather catch up afterwards.)

The clue to it being the latter is if you get play-by-play about who’s annoying at work, too. Either way, it can probably adjust with time. I imagine this can be worked through to a level of comfortable communication on both ends with time.

TinyMoonAndStars said:

NTA. Take it from a happily married lady, over-the-top texting like that naturally decreases as you get more secure in your relationship. Thanks for being considerate of her feelings as you deal with this with her.

Peterleclark said:

NTA. Sounds like she’s absolutely been with a controlling butt in the past. Make clear that you love hearing from her but you don’t expect her to detract from her fun with friends to keep you updated.

Substantial_Grab2379 said:

NTA. I ask my spouse and my kids to let me know if they are going to be late coming home. It also is my hang-up, and I freely admit it and have told them why. Other than that, get hold of me if you need me and have fun.

It does sound like she had someone in her life who was controlling and that checking in endlessly was how she the peace, making it her normal. She will learn this new normal and become more comfortable with time. Be kind.

JJQuantum said:

NTA but be nice about it. It just sounds like the 2 of you are different in this area.

CGNTV said:

NTA, but it could just be her love language.