'AITA for not wanting to take pictures of our food at a fancy restaurant?'

"AITA for not wanting to take pictures of our food at a fancy restaurant?"

I 32M have been married to my wife 30F for four years. She loves taking photos especially of food. Every brunch, every coffee, every candle lit dinner gets documented. I am more of a live in the moment guy to be honest and she truly knows me too well about that.

I do not hate photos, I just do not want everything paused for them when we should let our phones be and cameras out kind of thing. Here is what happened. Last weekend I surprised her with reservations at a very fancy restaurant. The kind with low lights tiny portions and prices that make you sit up straight.

She was excited dressed up and glowing, looking absolutely gorgeous and I loved it then we left in the uber I ordered since I just wanted a good time and not worry about driving incase we had other plans afterwards as young couple.

We arrived at the destination, made it in then sat at our reserved spot and placed an order as usual, with us trying to place an order I was already starving to be honest and when the food arrived she immediately reached for her phone. Started adjusting angles, moving plates, asking me to wait. I was starving.

We had skipped lunch and the smell was unreal in a good way of course. She said hold on babe, just one pic and of course, yes, it’s important we have that moment document but then one turned into several. Flash off flash on napkin moved fork repositioned.

I finally said not today babe lets just eat, I tried to keep it light but I was clearly annoyed. She looked shocked and asked why I was being so formal? I said I wanted the moment to be about us not content. She said it takes thirty seconds and boom her happy mood changes.

She put the phone down but the vibe changed. She barely ate and asked if I was embarrassed by her? I said no but we just needed a few pics of the meals and not feeling like photoshoots. Dinner ended quietly and the drive home was tense because I just wanted something different and not for the internet.

I know and truly understand she enjoys capturing memories, she posts them and genuinely looks back at them. Maybe I picked the wrong time to draw a boundary or point it out.

It was a fancy place and the food did look amazing. But part of me feels like it is okay to say not today. I’ve just been feeling a bit uneasy about the whole situation, if I should talk about it or not? We seem to be okay now but what if she repeats it again? I plan to make the date up since it didn’t go as planned.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

jrm1102 said:

NTA - a quick pic is fine, but a photoshoot gets ridiculous. Especially of YOUR food.

ParkerR666 said:

NTA. Documenting memories is great (if a photo of meals achieves that!) but when you’re taking several, rearranging cutlery etc the photos are not for you two’s future benefit, it’s purely projection of a lifestyle for her Instagram feed.

Long_Ad_2764 said:

NTA, but just start eating next time. If she wants pics of her own food let her.

Novafancypants said:

NTA. She said one pic you gave her that. Then she was turning it into a photo shoot. And if it was a nice place with dim lights I’m sure her using flash was super annoying to everyone else.

msdesignfoto said:

NTA. I'm a photographer and I refuse to take pictures of Every. Single. Dish. I mean, sometimes, when the food or the place look great, I can take one or two snapshots with my phone (not even my camera). And thats it. I want more to eat than photoshooting the entire food table. My wife too, although we don't take pictures of everything, we both like to keep one single picture of special moments.

Last week it was her birthday. We didn't plan anything luxurious, but she wanted to go to our favorite place nearby, a celtic-themed bar. The place itself is worthy of some photos or even selfies while we're there. The decoration is nice, and while it was cold and rain outside, they have a fireplace. Pretty cozy. We ordered a cup of tea and a piece of strawberry cheesecake.

I didn't want to take any photos of the cakes and tea cups themselves, but from my point of view, I saw a nice portrait image to post and make a small reference to her birthday. I took one photo, capturing the fireplace, one tea cup, and one cake piece (both mine). And posted it. Then I started to eat, but I didn't prevent her from eating her cake or drinking her tea.

Julianna01 said:

NTA, but people like a convo before hand not to be told in the moment, “not today."