'AITA for refusing to give up my Airbnb for my cousin's wedding?' 'I'm the bad guy.'
"AITA for refusing to give up my Airbnb?"
I (30m) am in the wedding party for my cousin’s wedding, about a four hour drive away, in a little over a week. As soon as I was asked, I booked the Airbnb for me, my wife and our daughter.
We found out about some health issues with my FIL this week and after a long discussion, we decided my wife and daughter would stay home and help him recover, and I would still go to the wedding instead of dropping out as a groomsman last minute.
Still not sure who told my sister (25) about the change in plans, but within a day she’s calling me telling (not asking!) me that I should give my Airbnb reservation to her, her bf, and their two kids because they need the space of two bedrooms, and since it’s just going to be me, “wouldn’t I be more comfortable in a hotel room?”
As much as I was looking forward to some peace and quiet to myself for a couple days, the people-pleaser in me won out, and hey…pool, bar/restaurant downstairs, and housekeeping didn’t sound too bad. Plus, I would be busy with wedding stuff most of the weekend anyways. So I offered, just pay for the cost difference between their hotel room and the Airbnb. No response.
An hour later, my mom calls. “Why am I being unreasonable…don't I know that my sister is having financial difficulties? The $250 difference isn’t going to make or break me!” I stood firm and said they had 8 months notice for the wedding, they could have saved up for an Airbnb too. But no… I’m the bad guy and family needs to look out for each other and why can’t I make this small sacrifice.
I know I don’t need all the space of a cabin to myself, but it’s not my fault you booked a hotel room with four people. Do I stay firm and say no? Do I offer a payment plan for the difference? Not sure I trust her to actually pay me back anyway. I'm tempted to even say “Merry Christmas and happy birthday to all four of you, don’t ask for anything for awhile."
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Walktothebrook said:
NTA. If your mother is so concerned about sister’s finances why doesn’t she pay?
Zazzog said:
NTA. Your sister is trying to mooch because she sees an opportunity for a free upgrade. Stand firm. She can pay the difference, or stay at the hotel. That's completely fair.
TemptingPenguin369 said:
NTA. First, if they trash the Airbnb that's in your name, you'd be on the hook. I've never used Airbnb (honestly if I'm on vacation, I want hotel amenities, not cleaning fees), so I have no idea if you can "give" your reservation to someone like this. Second, I wouldn't do this unless they pay you in advance for the price differential.
Princess-Eilonwy said:
NTA. It's your card that is on file for any incidentals. Not to mention Airbnb rules explicitly state that the person who makes the reservation must be one of the guests staying during the booking period. Do you really want to risk getting kicked off the site or paying for any damages for your ungrateful sister?
He_Who_Is_Person said:
NTA. And while I'm not 100% on this, I'm pretty damn sure that your Airbnb contract prevents you from giving the rental to someone else.
Amazing-Royal-3952 said:
Nta. If the Airbnb reservation was done with your credit card, you will be responsible for any damages done to the property. I don’t think your sister has money to pay you back in case something happens. Just enjoy your stay and let them blah blah blah lol.
BottomShelfVodka said:
NTA. Your family sounds like an absolute nightmare. You spent the money to enjoy your getaway, you get to enjoy it. If money is tight for the sister then your family can help crowd fund a room for her. Enjoy your vacation. Your family is trying to manipulate you into feeling guilty over something that is not your responsibility.
_EmberShade said:
Wow, honestly, NTA here. You planned this way in advance, made arrangements for your family, and now your sister expects you to just drop everything and hand over your Airbnb? That’s super unfair. She had months to plan, and financial struggles or not, it’s not your responsibility to fix that last minute.
Plus, you even tried to be reasonable by offering to cover the cost difference! Family can be tough, but you gotta look out for yourself too — don’t let them guilt-trip you into giving up your space. Stand your ground!