"AITA for refusing to share my savings to help my sister?"
I’m 21M and have been working two jobs while going to school to save money. It’s not a crazy amount, but it’s everything I’ve got. I’ve been saving it to move out and finally be independent.
My older sister (26F) called me last week saying she’s short on rent and might get evicted. I told her I’d think about helping and talk to my parents. Later that same day, I overheard her telling our mom that I should just give her the money because “he’s 21, his life hasn’t started yet anyway.” She said I can “just make it back later” and that I don’t have real responsibilities.
I confronted her. She said she didn’t mean it like that, but then said it’s different because she has a kid and I “don’t really need the money as much.” I told her I’m not giving her my savings. I offered to help in other ways like buying groceries or helping her budget, but not handing over everything I worked for.
Now my family says I’m selfish and choosing “future plans” over my niece. My mom says I should be the bigger person because my sister is stressed. I feel bad because a kid is involved, but I also feel like if I give in, I’m agreeing that my goals don’t matter. AITA?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
sikonat said:
NTA you’ll never get this money back (I note that she isn’t asked to borrow but basically demanding your money), so ensure no one can access your bank account and lock that money down. If your mum is so concerned she can give her money.
boundaries4546 said:
Sounds like your mom needs to be the bigger person and cough up the money for her daughter.
ConclusionUnusual320 said:
NTA. this wonderful expression is perfect here…"Don’t set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm." Your family is wanting you to sacrifice your life for her.
Ivana_Tackya said:
NTA. Your parents can give her money if they are so concerned. Going forward don’t tell anyone you have savings or how much money you have and definitely don’t say you’d “think about helping” because that means you have the funds to do so if you choose. Go with you are concentrating on school and it’s expensive and you aren’t able to save anymore at the moment.
melympia said:
Isn't it nice of your parents to be the bigger persons and provide your sister with rent money? Wait, they're not doing it? Shouldn't they be the bigger persons because your sister is stressed? Aren't they being selfish and choosing their own comfort or future plans over your niece? NTA. Pull the UNO reverse card on your family.
No_Teacher_3313 said:
NTA. Your sister is obnoxious and entitled. But stop letting people know you have any savings. It’s not any of their business and only creates problems for you. Let them think you spend it all.