'AITA for refusing to sit at a breakfast table with nothing to eat?'
"AITA for refusing to sit at a breakfast table with nothing to eat?"
I (29F) am on a holiday with my partner (28M) and his family. It’s an extremely remote location, so we have to purchase everything before we go, as a trip to civilization can be up to an hour and a half away. This has been my 4th year coming here and I absolutely love it, the area is stunning and since we are in the Southern Hemisphere, it is summer and loads of fun in the river valley.
There has however been a consistent issue the last few years and today I finally put my foot down. When his family did the food shopping, him and I did the shopping for drinks and snacks. We bought cases of drinks that we know everyone will enjoy, and I am always considerate of what people enjoy and do not enjoy. His family on the other hand, does not consider my tastes or needs.
I am a picky eater, I will admit it, and at times I eat the bare minimum and do not complain. This year, we added 2-3 things onto their shopping list knowing that for breakfast they like to have fish with a creamy sauce. I do not eat fish, and just requested that they pick up 2 mini quiches so that when they made fish for breakfast, I would have something to eat.
This morning, I get up and I can smell the fish and I ask if anyone took out the quiches or if they had seen them. My partner just came over to me and said that they didn’t buy them. He said sorry, and since I was still quite tired and honestly a little disheartened (this is not the first time), I decided to go lay down.
He came to our room and asked me to at least come sit with them, and I said no. There isn’t anything for me to eat, no one even tried to prepare anything else and so I was just going to lay and read my book. Let me be clear, there was no extra toasts, no one made an effort to fry an egg or anything.
We take turns making breakfast, and the other morning I went around asking people how they would like their eggs and made fried and scrambled eggs to people’s taste. I’m not just sitting here too lazy to make my own food. Now my partner’s parents are saying that I’m rude for not joining them and that I should have just sat with them at least. AITA?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Soft-Sail5993 said:
NTA. Yes, you’re a picky eater, but they know that and you put something on the list that they ignored. They are willingly excluding you and not respecting you. You have gone out of your way to accommodate everyone else, and they can’t do the bare minimum courtesy of buying the one thing you asked for.
IMO, this is on your partner since this is his family. He is the one who should be standing up for you and saying something. If he’s not, that is a much bigger issue I would take up directly with him.
AsethDearnight said:
NTA, but if this is a consistent issue, why haven't you started taking care of your own dietary needs/preferences? Just bring the things you know you will enjoy, don't depend on others.
Good-Landscape5586 said:
NTA. Somehow it's not rude that they didn't buy your food or make you anything to eat, but your rude for not sitting hungry at their table watching them eat? Yeah, no. I don't think you or your husband are angry enough about this.
Ok_Ice7596 said:
NTA for not sitting with them, but you should bring your own food in the future.
OkIssue5589 said:
NTA. Your BF is a problem. You shouldn't be with someone who lets this happen to you repeatedly.
Background-Key-1088 said:
NTA. Your partner and his parents are aholes. Knowing that his parents clearly don't give an eff about you, why wouldn't he have ensured that there was something for you to eat? Because he's an ahole too. I would calmly explain directly to his parents that they are the rude ones, and why would you want to sit there and watch rude people stuff their faces?