"AITA for 'ruining' my sister’s engagement?"
Before I start, I want to say that this is probably going to be awarded with pettiest post of the day: I (18m) attended a bowling alley with my sister (24f), her girlfriend (23f), and two of her friends, one’s 18m, other 18f, for her birthday.
It all went well up to engagement, where the 18m friend said “ewww” as they kissed. I said nothing because it’s not my engagement, but I found it extremely disrespectful. even if it’s something he commonly does, there’s a time and place, and I don’t think an engagement is that.
We were then going to take group photos, but the machine was expensive, and my sister opted for a regular phone photo. I’m stood next to the same 18m friend, who decided to purse his lips and put them up to my cheek. I told him not to do that. he stops, and five seconds later he starts again. I repeated “don’t do that.” For context, I’m currently in a talking stage with another 18m boy.
For some reason, my sister absolutely flips out at me for this, because “it’s just a photo pose.” I maintained my stance that I’m in a talking stage; even without that, I was genuinely uncomfortable. it’s not unknown that I’m not the largest fan of this boy either.
My sister is then making very loud and harsh comments about how I ruined her engagement because I “can’t take a photo.” Her girlfriend then defends him, saying “he probably doesn’t realize what he was doing,” to which I said it was sick of him, and because he did it twice, it was absolutely intentional.
When my sister spoke to this boy (supposedly), she was very polite to him but instantly flipped out at me, almost as if taking his side on this stance. I refused to apologize, saying that her engagement, whilst a special moment, does not supersede my own feelings of being comfortable of who I’m with.
I constantly said that she could address the situation at its core, which is that this boy did this intentionally, but she’s refusing this stance. This boy and I don’t get along, and it’s not the first time he’s done something like this. originally, I wasn’t going to come, but I did anyways, as it’s a special moment, which is more important to me.
She then finally pulled the “you’re supposed to be my brother” card, which I responded with “it’s always that card until it’s time to defend me against your creepy friends, which you’ve never done.” I also reminded her that this same boy ruined her birthday by doing similar. She told me to get out of her house and not attend the wedding, to which i said “happily.”
The entire time, she’d paraded and goaded about how this boy apologized instantly. I’m not that person. I hate apologizing in the moment and would rather come back a couple of days later when I’ve replayed the situation and know what I’m apologizing for.
She also says the blame is entirely on me. Said photos are now on facebook, where I clearly look uncomfortable. Am I the ahole for saying I don’t want this boy’s lips on my cheeks whilst I’m in a talking stage?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Familiar_Shock_1542 said:
The weirdo friend thinks it's gross for an engaged couple to kiss on a date (or at a bowling alley)? But he thinks it's fine to kiss or fake-kiss you? And against your will? Sounds like your sister needs to get better friends? You are NTA.
Teamtunafish said:
NTA. Nobody should touch you without your permission. Even if it's "pretend."
Amazing-Advantage792 said:
NTA, I'm appalled that your sister didn't have your back. I hope you find better people that won't blindly watch you get harassed in front of them and do nothing. You did nothing wrong, and reacted better than I would have. Take care OP, you deserve better from those in your life.
mandysreality said:
NTA. No is a complete sentence. Regardless of your relationship status you have bodily autonomy.
thayer2053 said:
Boundaries matter, and you set yours. If your sister can't respect that, she needs a reality check. Don't apologize for prioritizing your comfort over her drama. Keep it real.
mandysreality said:
NTA. No is a complete sentence. Regardless of your relationship status you have bodily autonomy.