'AITA for sleeping in my car?' 'This is weird, but I need to know if I'm in the wrong.'
"AITA for sleeping in my car because my wife won’t stop playing whale sounds at night?"
Okay, so this is weird, but I need to know if I’m in the wrong here. My wife (32F) has recently gotten really into whale sounds. It started as something she played while working from home, and I didn’t mind. Then, she started listening to them while doing chores, cooking, and even during dinner. Again, fine I figured it was a phase.
But then she started playing them at night. I mean, full blast, speakers on either side of the bed, deep ocean whale calls echoing through our room like we’re sleeping at the bottom of the Mariana Trench.
She says it helps her relax and feel "connected to nature." The problem is, I can’t sleep through it. I’ve tried earplugs, but I swear I can still hear them. I wake up to haunting, eerie moaning sounds and feel like I’m in some kind of deep-sea horror movie.
I asked if she could at least lower the volume, or use headphones. She refused, saying the sound needs to "fill the room" for the full effect. I even tried playing my own "relaxing" noises to balance it out rain sounds, white noise but she said they "ruin the purity of the ocean experience."
After weeks of this, I finally snapped and just started sleeping in my car. I parked it in our driveway, reclined the seat, and actually got my first full night of sleep in weeks. Now she’s furious, saying I’m "abandoning our bed" over something trivial and making her feel guilty for trying to create a peaceful home environment.
I told her I’d happily come back if we could compromise on the whale sounds, but she says I’m being selfish and "refusing to understand her needs." So, AITA for choosing my car over the call of the wild?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
MrsHyd3 said:
You are 100% NTA! This sounds so extreme lol, wifey needs to put her headphones on. She can’t expect you to sleep in the middle of her oceanic oasis. She’s actually being self-centered in her unwillingness to compromise. Good luck.
lukasta22 said:
NTA. She should use headphones or lower the volume. Compromise is key!
Roadgoddess said:
NTA - I struggle with sleep myself, and this would make me absolutely come unglued. Your wife is being incredibly rude to you in dismissing your need for a good night sleep.
You can buy some great headbands that are made to wear when you sleep, but she can put on the whale without disturbing you. The fact that she is pushing this whole narrative that you have to listen to it as well is rude and offputting.
Electronic_Sense_122 said:
NTA. Background noise/white noise is optional. She can control what she listens, how loud and how she listens to it. Its not a medical thing, she doesn't HAVE to have it on full blast on speaker. Its not like snoring, where its done unconsciously. She is being inconsiderate of your SHARED space. Claim your shared space.
zeeelfprince said:
My fiance has used a white noise machine that makes the oddest sound that reminds me of "Star Wars" ships launching lol. No, i have no idea where he found it, his mom let us borrow it the last time we visited. And yes, my dreams were decidedly.... galactic for a few days lol
But this...this is too much. I would have lost my shit after the first hour, and taken my blanket, tardi (stuffed tardigrade) and pillows to my car immediately. You gave her a CHANCE; Offered COMPROMISES even, and she's still mad? Gtfo. NTA.
Perimentalpause said:
That's ultimatum time. "Either the music goes, or I reconsider if I want to stay married to someone who is literally torturing me by insisting I stay in a room I can't sleep in. I CAN'T SLEEP HERE WHEN YOU PLAY WHALE NOISES. That should concern you. The fact that it doesn't concerns ME.
It tells me you don't give a shit about my comfort or wellbeing, as long as you can pretend you're Dory. So, we're at a stalemate. Either you stop playing that goddamn sound, ANY sounds at night while I'm trying to sleep, or I reconsider if this marriage is tenable. I shouldn't have to say "If you loved me, you wouldn't deprive me of sleep,' yet here we are." NTA.