"AITA for telling my friend her engagement ring is ugly?"
My friend is constantly harping on other people's engagement rings. Every time one of our friends gets engaged, she sends it to me with some snarky comment. For example, last week, she sent me a picture of one of our mutual acquaintance's rings which had been posted on FB, saying that it was one of the ugliest rings she had ever seen.
Was it an ugly ring? Yes! But also, I don't believe in crapping on people's happiest moments, and I find it strange that she always has something negative to say. Last month, she finally got engaged. I honestly think her ring is hideous and tacky, she asked for the biggest "rock" possible and it's just not appealing in any way.
She sent me another person's engagement ring last night, and I have been so fed up with her negativity that I ignored it all day. She texted me again a few minutes ago, asking me if I saw her message, what I thought of the ring, etc.
I told her yes, but I didn't want to talk about it, and then she kept asking me what was wrong so I finally exploded at her. Told her I was sick of her being a witch about everyone else's happiest moment, that who cares if the ring is ugly if she isn't the one wearing it, that I'm sure many people think that about her ring too.
She then asked me point-blank if I thought her ring was ugly and I said yes. Now she is super mad at me and said I ruined her ring and she doesn't want to be my friend anymore. So, Am I the ahole for telling her her ring is ugly?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Federal-Ferret-970 said:
ESH. What are ya all 12 years old? Does nobody actually talk to each other and tell them to stop and why. You waited until you blew. Soft ah for you. Though I personally wouldn’t want to be friends with someone who craps in other peoples cornflakes. I’d be putting her on the acquaintance ring and not the friend ring.
Rare-Individual-9756 said:
NTA. Play stupid games…Why are you guys friends again?
Low_Visual_650 said:
ESH. If you didn't like the behavior you never should have engaged in it. The fact that it happened often shows you engaged in the hate talk.
lonelypurplerose said:
ESH you waited way too long to set this boundary. The fact that she expected a response is telling.
FoncusedFistula said:
ESH - She is shallow and materialistic. She also didn’t tell the people she didn’t like their rings. She confided that in you. Sure it’s shallow but it isn’t being cruel to that person.
You never asked her to stop putting down peoples rings in multiple messages to you and had plenty of opportunities to talk it out. You let resentment and anger fester. You blew up at her directly and became the exact thing you hate.
GreekAmericanDom said:
NTA. Never ask a question you aren't willing to hear an honest answer to. Your friend broke that rule. In the future, call out this sort of behavior as soon as you see the pattern. Don't let it fest for so long. Good on you for finally calling her out.
WhiteSandSadness said:
ESH. Such a childish thing, but it could have been avoided by simply telling her that you don’t care to be passing such judgements on other peoples’ happiness.