"AITA for telling my roommate that she should see a doctor?"
In our house, there’s five people and four cats. Everyone there is safely full of love, and I don’t think anyone truly has any malice, but sometimes I do think there’s lack of consideration and may be it comes from all of us.
Recently, it’s been an issue where my roommate who is in school gets woken up by us closing doors or closing the toilet or anything really. She tried to resolve the problem by turning on a fan in her room to help with the sound, and I tried to help by putting hush bumps on everyone’s door.
But sometimes they don’t work perfectly because it doesn’t stop the click from the door knob so you have to close it with the awareness that you have to turn the door knob.
After months, she’s still complaining that the noise wakes her up and then she can’t go back to sleep and that she loses out on like 4 to 5 hours of sleep and while I do understand because she’s in school and has a lot going on at this point it feels medical.
A quick summary of what I sent in our roommate chat was “I’m not trying to come off any kind of way. We’ve tried all these things. Have you considered maybe seeing if a doctor could prescribe you something? “
I know we’re all different people, but personally, the other four people in the house hear a noise and go right back to sleep or don’t wake up at all. And I don’t wanna be disrespectful, but that is my last suggestion to her because I’m not sure how else we can try to be quieter when sometimes it’s by accident…
She didn’t respond to that and she’s not responding to anything I’ve said I even tried to message her privately outside of the roommate chat.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
ausbby4 said:
NTA. I'm a light sleeper and I don't make it anyone else's problem. I sleep with earplugs and a noise machine and that's solved all my problems. I personally wouldn't recommend jumping straight to a doctor, but definitely tell her to try earplugs.
NoHorseNoMustache said:
NTA you've done a lot to try to adjust for her but you can't just not go to the bathroom because the sound of a doorknob wakes her up.
findvine said:
NTA. Even if she lived alone in an apartment the world will not be silent for her, neighbors, landscapers, cars will all intervene to affect her sleep. As long as you aren’t playing music and stomping around, or having loud conversations, you are meeting your responsibilities as a good roommate.
She can wear ear plugs, there are specialized ones for sleeping that integrate with an alarm. She can also use a noise machine and, worse case scenario - melatonin or something else.
Incendiaryag said:
NTA, this isn’t inconsiderate level noise, it’s what you can expect when sharing a house amongst five, it’s not like she’s complaining about music, guests or conversations. It’s like you have to stress because you need to use the toilet at night and sorry that’s on her to work out.
Then-Chocolate-5191 said:
NTA has she tried a white noise generator to drown out the noise, usually more effective than a fan. Also, a towel rolled up and pushed against the bottom of the door to her bedroom will block some noise. She might also want to consider putting some acoustic tiles up on her walls to help insulate it for sound.
Ingwall-Koldun said:
NTA, but this isn't a situation for a light sleeper. I mean, 4 cats in the house, and not one of them likes to wander around singing sad songs in the middle of the night? I seriously doubt that. That aside, there are many non-prescription options. Melatonin. Valeriana. Ear plugs. CBD products if they are legal in your area.