"AITA for threatening my marriage over a dog?"
Long and short, we recently had some electrical issues that nearly caused a house fire. We are waiting for a contractor to come and look at it and fix the problem (the wall that got fried is where the washer plugs in, so it's pretty important.) My husband found boarding for our 12 month pointer...with his ex wife.
Not a major issue, our dogs get along and at least she will watch her and she'll be relatively safe. I agreed to this so I'm not mad about that part. Although I am mad we moved her so soon without a timeline for repairs and there was a ton of tears from the kids. We both work, so an unsupervised pup with strangers or an open wall is not gonna work.
What I am mad about...is apparently his former sister-in-law saw the dog and fell in love with her...and asked to have her...Just like that. So entitled. He's considering giving away my dog so he doesn't have to "deal with her."
I walk and feed her along with the help of the kids and trained her. She is an intelligent and clever dog and the kids love her. My 1yr old says "woof-woof" for dog, almost as much as he says "mom." We are all she has know. She's a rescue and we got her 5 months.
I am outraged he would just betray me and the children and go behind our backs because he doesn't want a dog. She's a hunting dog and due to start training with me since it's deer season and the kids love her and she runs with my oldest.
I don't have a full means of getting a hold of his ex, we rarely talk but use social media now that she's hosting my dog, I even paid her and offered up any extra food or toys. So I'm just kind of in the dark and waiting right now. AITA for threats to leave him if he does something so underhanded and gives away the family dog without consulting me or the kids?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
New-Lifeguard-9494 said:
NTA, and wtf is wrong with your husband and his ex SIL? I mean, what type of person just asks for someone else's pet? Is she deranged? And the fact that your husband is so willing to just hand it over is throwing up massive red flags about him. He sounds deranged too!
calacmack said:
He is considering hurting not only you but your children as well. Actually the dog itself would a victim. It is very difficult for a pet to be handed around to different households. Secondary issues include the fact that you don't know this person and have no way to determine if they have the capacity to take care of the dog or if they might even get tired of having a pet and try to give it away themselves. NTA.
TA_brokensoul said:
NTA, that is YOUR dog, and you should get it back at some point. This is totally a good reason to leave.
Normal-Context-527 said:
I would look for another place to take her. There are people and organizations that will take dogs temporarily. That way you know you will get your dog back.
77x88x88x77 said:
NTA. Without a moment of doubt.
BG3restart said:
NTA. Would he give away one of your kids so easily? Given that everyone else is bonded with the dog and the dog is a family member at this point, the idea that he could just give it away appalls me.
UPDATE:
I got some cryptic messages from my husband, some weird things were said. A fight ensued and I believe he gave his ex permission to have my dog (about 3hrs ago).(Now) I got a hold of his ex and had her send me a video (the time of day matched) so I'm a bit more calm.
I notified her that I'd be over tomorrow, I'm trying to avoid conflict plus give her the chance to set things right. I also informed her that I will call the police if need be (I honestly already got a hold of them and they were no help for various reasons so it might become a civil matter).
She's been informed to not even walk her and keep her in the designated area until I arrive. (I'm trying to keep the kids out of this and plan to do all this while they go to school).
I got a hold of a few friends and have a family of fellow hunters willing to house her for free upon hearing the story and for as long as we need. She knows the family but not their dog, but I'm hopeful it'll go well.
As for my husband he is denying everything and takes no fault in this. I've decided to stay at my parents tonight and informed him that we will have a talk about this and however that talk goes will decide what comes next for us moving forward.