"AITA for wanting to continue my own Christmas traditions?"
My wife and I have a 10 month old, and she is the first grandchild for either of our parents. My wife grew up an only child, and I have two brothers. Growing up, she spent Christmas at home and did not go anywhere.
She stayed in her pajamas and played with toys. I on the other hand have done Christmas morning at my parents house with my brothers my whole life (28 years). My wife has joined us for the last 8 or so. Following that, we have always gone to my grandmothers to see them and my cousins.
With our little one now, dragging her all over town (not a big town, 10 minutes to each destination) is not something my wife wants to do. We now are at an impasse where she wants to stay home but I don’t want to upset my family by saying “we’re not coming over for Christmas, if you want to see your grandchild it will have to wait..."
...and not do anything all day Christmas Day. I may have said to her that sounds “boring as heck”...not my finest moment I’ll admit. Opinions welcome, but keep it civil. Genuinely not sure what to do here.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Vdavwil said:
ESH. Time for that advanced concept, "compromise." Families have been handling this problem forever. Have your little family Christmas together. Then drop in at Grandma's house later to open a few more presents and snack on some leftovers. Easy peasy.
ReasonableCookie9369 said:
Now is when you build your own traditions. Start something new, just the 3 of you, that you will hold sacred. Maybe you guys stay home until noon, maybe you do Christmas eve just your little family.
idc what you do, idc if you still go to your parents, but have your own tradition with your immediate family, and never forget your immediate family is now your wife and child, not your parents and brothers.
Ok_Beginning_9314 said:
I get what you're saying. This is what I think your wife is hearing: "We should do my family traditions because you don't have a family, anyway."
dorothyzbornak71 said:
We did the same when our kids were little. Got sick of dragging them all over the place. We said we aren't doing it anymore , but that anyone was welcome at our place. But if you just want the day to yourself you could go the day after. You could do Christmas eve as well.
yeahnononono saiD:
NAH - I think your Christmas sounds stressful as hell. You would rather upset your wife? Is your wife the ahole for wanting to continue her Christmas traditions? Neither of you are wrong here.
You are going to have to compromise. I will say if your family can’t handle waiting, maybe they are the aholes. I would let my child and their spouse decide on how they want to spend the holiday and RESPECT it.
Ok_Beginning_9314 said:
I get what you're saying. This is what I think your wife is hearing: "We should do my family traditions because you don't have a family, anyway."