'AITA for forcing my husband to care about his own kid’s education?'
"AITA for forcing my husband to care about his own kid’s education?"
So here’s what went down. I’ve been trying to enroll our 6 year old son in school. Nothing fancy. Just basic stuff papers, medical forms, a signature here and there. But for some reason, my husband straight up refuses to sign any of the school documents. Like, he won’t even look at them.
I told him weeks ago, “Hey, school starts soon. We need to get these signed.” He grunted and said he was too tired. I waited. I brought it up again. Nothing. He just says he’ll “get to it” and then goes back to scrolling on his phone or going out with his friends.
I finally snapped. I said, “Can you PLEASE handle this? He’s your son too.” You know what he said. He looked me dead in the eye and goes, “That’s your thing. You deal with all that.”
I don’t even know what to do with that. Like... how is school just my thing?? It’s not like I’m asking him to write a thesis. It’s a signature. He literally has to write his name. That’s it. So yeah, I told him I wasn’t going to keep doing this alone. I said if he won’t step up, I’m taking our son and staying at my sister’s for a while.
I need help, not a roommate who acts like the bare minimum is a burden. He called me dramatic. Said I was trying to “punish” him for something small. His exact words were: “You’re really gonna blow this out of proportion? Over a paper?”
And I just stood there, feeling like I was losing my mind. Like... am I crazy?? Is it actually “nothing”? Or am I right to expect him to give a damn about his kid’s future?
I’ve been doing everything packing lunches, helping with reading, bedtime routines, parent teacher meetings (back when we were still doing daycare). And now I can’t even count on him for a signature? I get that parenting is hard. I get that we’re both tired. But why does it always fall on me?
So yeah... I told him this was the last straw. He thinks I’m being petty and “turning this into a war.” I think I’m finally standing up for myself and our kid. But now I’m second guessing everything. AITA?
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
You’re not being dramatic, he’s being lazy and checked out. If he can’t bother signing a form, he’s showing you exactly how little effort he’s willing to give.
InterestingMeal1551 (OP)
Thank you. That really puts things into perspective effort speaks louder than words, and I’m starting to see that clearly now.
“You’re gonna blow this out of proportion over a paper?”
He’s gaslighting you. he blew it out of proportion over a SIGNATURE. 10 seconds to read it. One to sign it if he didn’t feel like reading it. He doesn’t even have to give a damn. Getting them to Care is a whole Nother matter. NTA.
NTA. He literally said that parenting is “your thing” so, unless he is doing something else for you that’s amazing, you might as well take the child support, get an electric blanket, and watch what you want on television and eat what you want for dinner and answer to nobody while single parenting.
He’s putting more effort into arguing than signing. That in of itself says a lot.
Sounds to me like you have two children. Life would be less of a burden if you only had to look after yourself and one child.
”Hey - I’m going to move out with our child. Not a big deal. You shouldn’t overreact. We are not dying, just living somewhere else. I’m leaving the ring on kitchen table. It’s only a ring. No need to get upset. I’ll just need you to sign some papers later.”
NTA and just… what in the hell? A signature is causing that response is just..weird?
Take everything that needs his signature, put them in a stack and say, "I need you to sign all of these and I will never ask you to sign anything else." Make sure the last signature is for your divorce. It already sounds like you're a single mother. Why make yourself crazy trying to take care of an emotional man child? Good luck.
NTA. I'd never beg someone to love me, nor would I beg someone to parent their child. If they won't do it by choice, then they need to be in your rear-view mirror. Document everything, file for full custody, get child support and make sure you get what you deserve in the divorce settlement. If you let someone do the bare minimum and then they won't even do THAT, they're a waste for you to stay with.
NTA. My response, however, is that divorce seems the only way to solve this. He is making it clear that he will not step up and be a parent. So what do you actually need him for? Dump the dead weight.
NTA. He blew this out of proportion. I'm generally against ultimatums, but your ultimatum was just "write your name here." And he didn't do it. Obviously, it isn't about the signature.
That was just the piece of straw that broke the camel's back. He isn't involved with your life. What's the point of being married to someone who acts like you don't matter? He's an anchor around your neck dragging you down. Cut yourself free.
If he thinks this is a big deal, he will really hate when you leave and he has to do it all alone. And what happens when he gets visitations and has to do that alone too. It’s not just a paper, it’s more than that and sounds like your final straw in the big scheme of things.
OP, you are already a single mom. Might as well make it official and get the divorce. Some men are simply not worth the time and energy women put into them. I say this as a man myself. He’s already checked out of your marriage. You need to live your best life…and it isn’t with him.