'AITA for leaving when I was asked to babysit forcing my dad's fiancée to cancel her plans?'
"AITA for leaving when I was asked to babysit forcing my dad's fiancée to cancel her plans?"
I (M17) lived with my mom until a year ago when her disability got to the point where she was placed in a care home that's like a hospice. My dad wasn't ever a big presence in my life and he's still not.
I live there but I need to be self sufficient and I pay for my own things or have help from my maternal grandparents to pay for it. It's all kinds of messed up but he was always that way.
His reason for having me here is no child support because he had to pay for 16 years before that. My grandparents even promised they wouldn't ask for child support but he was like no and he was smug about him being my dad and he'd win over them anyway.
My dad's engaged to some woman who has a 3 year old with someone else and a 6 month old with my dad. I moved in around the same time her and her kid did and she was pregnant then. I don't know much about her and I don't spend time around her or the kids.
Last Saturday I had a day off work and I wasn't planning on doing anything when dad and her said I needed to babysit the kids because they had stuff on. Dad left first and she told me she'd be gone for about 6 hours and she was trying to tell me schedule stuff for the 6 month old and the 3 year old but I just said no way and I left the house.
I didn't have anything planned but I was not willing to babysit and I dipped before she could leave. She tried yelling after me but I kept going and I didn't go back to the house until it was late. Dad was back by then and the two of them started yelling at me and saying I had no right to walk out and leave the kids without a sitter.
I pointed out their mom was home and they said it wasn't the point but I said it was the point and I did not want to babysit and I did not have to babysit. I told them I won't ever babysit so they better find someone for when they need it because it won't be me and I will leave every single time.
She was trying to guilt trip me about canceling her plans and I asked her why it was my problem that she didn't prepare a sitter for her kids before her plans. She even got her sister (who I don't think I met before) come over and tell me I was a terrible person and I took my daddy issues out on her sister and her siblings.
I rolled my eyes, packed my things and I left after that. I'm hoping he doesn't try taking this to custody court and if he does I hope he gets a date after I turn 18 and it's a waste of time. AITA? Asking because I know she didn't do anything to me and she might have appreciated it or something, I don't know.
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
NTA. This is why your dad wanted you at home instead of your grandparents. They wanted a built in babysitter. They are takers and users. Since you’re out already, never go back, never give in. Sorry you’re going through this.
💯 why they wanted him there. His stupid, smug face was because he thought he'd just solved his own problem and, not only was it not going to cost money but the solution would save him money on child support. Dad is a loser and I'm glad OP dipped. NTA, OP.
NTA, tell them that if they try to leave the kids with you against your will, you will call the police and CPS and declare the kids have been abandoned by them ( leaving kids with an unwilling sitter is considered abandonment by law)
Even if he's awarded custody, that doesn't mean you are awarded babysitting duties. Watching over children is a huge responsibility. If I had kids I wouldn't want a halfhearted coerced baby sitter watching over them. Quite the coincidence that she moved in around the same time you did. She really is a presumptuous little so and so.
NTA. They are not willing to make you feel welcome, be part of their family, support you at all, so why they hell do they think you'd help them out. They're jokes. Idk the laws about where you live, but a lot of courts will take into account what someone your age would prefer in regards to living situation. If they're stricter, you've got a year left and you'll never have to look back again.
You're paying your own way, while being forced to live with this dude that was basically a sperm donor, and he expects you to see his family as yours and babysit the kids... well, at least he has big dreams, I guess. NTA.
Do tell his girlfriend that it's nothing personal, but her partner is an absolute monster, so you will not be doing him or his posse any favors, if you for some reason have to go back.
And before having to go back, since you're having to pay for your own stuff, he is not providing basic necessities, so basically he is lacking, as a parents. I think custody court and CPS will have something to say about that.
At least you can use it as leverage. 'Do you want me to talk to CPS, about how I have to pay for everything myself, while you don't provide for me? Perhaps I'll tell them how you planned on abandoning your kids with a minor with zero experience with babysitting?'
I am sorry you're living this. Although if he takes you to court, you're old enough to decide with whom to live and then you can tell the judge that you work to support you. You can also tell the judge that your father's fiancee had a perfect stranger (whom she calls sister), come an insult you for refusing to babysit, after it's your only day off. No NTA.