'AITA for being mad with my friend after she lied about why she cut me off and proceeded to back talk me?'
"AITA for being mad with my friend after she lied about why she cut me off and proceeded to back talk me?"
cyntears
This is some petty teenage drama, so if you're not interested, feel free to skip. I (15 F) was part of a friend group, but my two closest friends, Mel and Rose (both 15, F), formed a smaller group with me. Rose and I have been friends for over 10 years, and Mel joined us about a year ago.
All three of us are autistic, and while I occasionally shared my interest in true crime, Mel would sometimes tease me about being "overly fixated." We often joked around, so it didn't bother me too much.
Over the summer, Mel started to distance herself. When I excitedly shared in our group chat that I had an interview with a prison wife related to a case I was interested in, Mel's insensitivity resurfaced. I tried to address it, but she ignored me.
At a meetup in July, I brought my friend DJ, and after some drama, most people claimed to remain neutral. DJ and I ended up making out, and the girls teased me, but Mel abruptly ended the meetup.
Later, Mel seemed off during lunch, but I assumed she was just feeling sick. A week later, Rose set me up with DJ, and after he confessed, we started dating. I told Mel, and she said she was happy for me.
DJ wasn't fond of most of my friends, though he liked Rose. I confronted Mel about her behavior over the summer, and she claimed she was just preparing for a visit from a long-distance friend and that I hadn't done anything wrong.
The next day, she texted me, saying she needed to cut me off for her own benefit, claiming I could be mean. I’ve always supported her, and while I can be rash when defending myself, I’m generally nice.
I tried to talk it out, but she blocked me, repeating, "I'm sorry, I love you, but I have to do this for myself." Shortly after, Rose showed me a message Mel sent her, saying my interest in true crime made her uncomfortable and that my boyfriend was an outcast she couldn't associate with.
I told Mel through Rose's phone that her comments were unfair. She claimed my message was harassment and spread rumors about me and my boyfriend, leading to serious trouble for us.
He ended up being interrogated by riot police who barged into his home for something he never did. It’s been four months, and she still hasn’t reached out. While I’m upset, I don’t hold resentment—I still love and care about her.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
East-Confection4246
I'm not going to lie, you need to let it go, she didn't love you like you loved her. She had the police raid your boyfriend's house because she didn't like him, that's INSANE. Friends come and go, this is no different, she's simply not your friend anymore.
cyntears (OP)
I have let it go, despite doing so I still sometimes happen to find myself really upset about what happened which I think is valid since I wasn't given time to mourn the friendship so I allow myself to be sad over it, and find speaking about it makes me feel somewhat better and its kind of just a release for me. Also, in no way do I intend to come off as obsessive with her or the situation if thats what it sounded like and I apologise if it did!
Distinct-Session-799
Sweetie let us go.. police involved and all that… I promise you will find another friend.
cyntears (OP)
yeahh i have kinda just stopped speaking about her to people she knows and directly to her, im still just grieving the friendship and ive as of lately found myself in a bad mental place so im currently doing therapy to get over the situation and allowing myself to feel emotions over it. (by the way, i will spare you the details but things did happen during the unexplained drama which left me extremely depressed)
gloryhokinetic
YTA for still caring about you. She tried top get you both arrested! That is a sign that she HATES you. Forget she exists and move on.
operintendant
Who did you expect to give you time to mourn? Take it. Mourn. And then leave it behind.
East-Confection4246
It's okay to mourn friendships because, at one point, those friendships were fulfilling. Sometimes, we don't get a chance to mourn, and it might be better that way. When a friendship ends like yours did with Mel, it's best to leave that in the past and be grateful it didn't get any worse. I totally understand how you're feeling, and it's good that you let it go. Hoping for the best with you and your bf.