Friend 'puts child in danger' by not baby-proofing home for guest. 'I drove us to an ER.' AITA?
"AITA for not baby-proofing my home?"
My friend and her 2y old son came to visit me last week. She's a single mom and we rarely see each other because we live far apart. I just moved into a bigger apartment, so they came to stay with me for a few days.
Everything was fine at first, we had fun and although I'm not good with kids, I tried my best. One morning we were all in the kitchen, my friend and I made breakfast while the boy was playing with a toy on the floor.
After a while, my friend left the room to take a call and was gone for a few minutes. I'm not used to having kids around, so I dind't think twice about leaving him alone when I left to go pee. My friend was just in the next room, the door was open too. I also had to walk through the living room to get to the bathroom, so she knew I was leaving him alone in there.
When I came back she was still on the phone (explaining something to her coworker) and the kid was still in the kitchen. But when she came back, she noticed a bunch of photos on the floor.
I had put them up on my fridge with small neodyium magnets, so we started looking for those but didn't find any. Knowing how dangerous magnets can be for kids, we immediatly tried to find out if he ate any but he just started crying, so I drove us to an ER.
My friend was panicking in the car and started yelling at me, "Why do you even have tiny magnets in the first place? You should have told me about it before! Why did you leave him all alone?" I was driving and tried to focus, so I didn't answer her. Honestly, I just never thought about my fridge magnets being a hazard.
All was fine in the end, he ate one magnet but it wasn't a big deal as there wasnt any other ones. I was relieved and said "let's go home, I'll take down the other magnets and see what else I might have to baby-proof for the next few days."
But my friend was still furious with me and demanded I drop them off at a hotel and bring her things because "who knows what chemicals I have lying around in childs reach, she can't take her eyes off of him for a second in that house."
I tried to calm her down and reassure her that nothing else was going to happen and I'd keep a closer eye, but she refused. She just kept yelling at me. I dropped her off at a hotel and haven't heard from her since.
Until this morning, she called and said that she's disappointed that I didn't even apologize for putting her child in danger. That I don't care about his wellbeing because I don't like children (I don't, but I don't want him to die, obviously?) and that I was clearly not even worried when it happend.
I don't mind apologizing, but am I really the only one to blame here? I never have kids around and while I did remember to put detergent and cleaning supplies out of reach, I just didn't think about the magnets.
I could have done more and maybe shouldn't have left him alone in the room, but she has done it too and I just didn't consider it.
Here's what top commenters had to say:
GemueseBeerchen said:
NTA Parents have to watch small children. They can never assume a place is baby proofed. If they do, ask them to pay for it.
AliceTawhai said:
Her guilty conscience is getting projected to you. NTA.
Markeerstiften said:
NTA, it was her responsibility to watch the kid. I don’t demand people to babyproof their house when we come over. Even so, she should have said: this call might take a while, could you keep an eye on him? Then you might not have left him alone.
I fail to understand how the inability to watch her own kid was now your fault. I’ve taken loads of calls and still was able to watch my kid or specifically asked someone to watch them as I took a call. It’s not that hard.
Ofcourse this whole thing was scary and he might just be lashing out because of adrenaline, but this just seems so weird to me. Watch your own kid lady.
Dazzling_Item4244 said:
NTA. I have a friend that comes over with her toddler and; A) The first thing she does is a happy lap around the room to inspect anything that may be dangerous or fragile and puts it away (I don’t mind) and B) She watches her toddler at all times. Her kid, her responsibility.
C_Majuscula said:
NTA. You don't have kids, why would you baby-proof? It's the parent's job to check out the environment and watch their kid.
BaRiMaLi said:
NTA. You cannot watch a kid all the time. Your friend is being unfair, even moms have to pee and will have to leave their kids alone for a few minutes. You are not to blame.
Moreover, you handled the situation well by taking them to the ER, and even offering to take down the magnets AND to further baby-proof your house. What more should she want?