Friend wears white to a wedding, 'there isn't a forbidden color,' guests ruin her dress. AITA? UPDATED
"AITA for wearing white to a wedding?"
I (27F) have a friend (25F) that just got married last Saturday. My friend is South Asian (not Indian) and she decided to wear a red traditional dress for her wedding. I asked what the dress code were, and she said that she genuinely just wanted her guests to look at their best.
She also said that there isn’t a forbidden/frowned upon color to wear as in a Christian wedding in Europe. So I decided to go with a white cream dress (see in the link). Anyways, I went to her wedding and had a good time. My friend said she really liked my dress.
But while I was there, her other friends that are not South Asian, i.e. they are white, Black and Hispanic, and all Christian. They went up to me and started with small talk and one of the girls spilled pop all over me. I asked her what she just did and she said that I shouldn’t have come to a wedding with a white dress. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Nightskiier79 said:
NTA. I’m also Asian, and yeah, red is the bride’s color. White doesn’t have the same context like a Western wedding. To be fair, white can be associated with death in some Asian country cultures, but if the bride say all colors are good - then all colors are good - period, end of story. Get these “Christians” to turn the other cheek and pay your cleaning bill.
Actual-Clue-3165 said:
Nta They were trying to solve a problem that wasn't there, they obviously did not listen to the brides wishes, the dress isn't even white.
BiffThad said:
NTA. Her friend intentionally spilled a soda on your dress. That’s a bigger issue. How did you sort this out? That must have been horrible.
Simple-Code-3229 said:
NTA. Girl, you deserve an apology and laundry cost. You can clear things up by running through the bride first, let her know that clearly someone doesn't understand her wish, or you can go nuclear by sending the bill to the one spilling it upon your dress, also they started it first, you have all the rights to go nuclear and bring it to the public.
[deleted] said:
NTA. It's very simple - only the opinions of the bride and groom matter. If they specifically okay-ed it, you did nothing wrong. It's about them, not about the friends.
Fairwhetherfriend said:
I was SO prepared to answer yes, but then you pointed out that the bride was wearing red. Let's be clear - the ACTUAL wedding rule is "don't wear the same color as the bride." You did exactly as you were supposed to. It's honestly shocking that so many people seem unable to grasp the reasoning behind these social rules, and will just blindly obey them even in obviously inappropriate contexts. NTA.
Mustng1966 said:
NTA - You asked the bride the dress code for her wedding and complied. Everyone else that complained are irrelevant to that. Tell any who still object to go pound sand and you will not be engaging with them on your dress, it wasn't their wedding after all.
nim_opet said:
NTA. It’s your friend’s wedding, and those other people can set whatever rules they want at their weddings.
UPDATE:
So, time for an update. I told my friend about the situation after I posted because I didn’t want her to be angry right after/during her special day. But first let me explain what happened after she spilled soda on my dress. I went to the bride’s sister and explained everything and told her not to tell the bride.
The sister and I went to the home of the bride and groom (she has the bride’s key and they live near the reception building) because my luggage was there and I changed. Luckly I had a dress, unfortunately it wasn’t a long gown but a short knee length dress. The bride noticed when I went back, and I lied and told her that the other dress wasn’t comfortable, and we went on with the party.
Then I sat down with the bride. I told her and she became so pissed and told me she never wanted to see those people again. We messaged the girl and the bride told her to pay up for the cleaning and the girl surprisingly paid the full amount.
She had thought the bride wanted to stay friends but after she sent the money to the bride via venmo my friend blocked her and the others. She apologized and I told her it wasn’t her fault. I’m staying another week here and it feels a lot better with having told her everything. Thank you all for the replies on my other story.
Here's what top commenters had to say about the update:
BlueNoyb said:
Glad it worked out. I can't imagine being so entitled, I would purposefully spill a drink on someone. What a nutjob.
Lollipopwalrus said:
White means death in my husband's culture so even though I'm white, I wore an off-white&champagne wedding dress. Unless you know the bride has a problem with the person wearing white, DO NOT GO POURING DRINKS ON PEOPLE!! Times that by ten if the bride isn't wearing white herself!!!!
Driftwood256 said:
Nice... well done, and glad bride was on your side...F those AHs...