Bride asks if she's wrong to be 'furious' that a child is attending her bachelorette.

Everyone knows bachelorette parties are for bonding with the 'bride squad' in matching sunglasses, unlimited spicy margaritas and...hanging out with a baby?

So, when a frustrated bride decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about her friend who decided to let her kid crash the girl's trip, judgmental people everywhere were dying for the dramatic details.

AITA (Am I the As*hole) for being furious that my bridesmaid brought her child to the bachelorette party/wedding preparation week?

I'm having a destination wedding. There are 5 bridesmaids, one of whom, who we can call Becca, has a very young toddler child. She is the only person in the wedding party with a kid. The entire time, we talked about the week leading up to the wedding being a sort of 'girls only' week.

Becca is about 14 weeks pregnant, so she was fine with being a DD for us. We figured that since she's married to the father of her child, that she would leave them home with them. We thought she would want time to not be 'on' as a mother.

Low and behold, who steps out of the plane this morning? Becca and her child. She says that her husband will 'fly in the night before the wedding' and that she 'wanted the time to bond with [kid's name] before the new baby.' We were salty.

We still need a DD, so suddenly we have a baby accompanying all of the bachelorette plans. We have no idea how we're going to alter our plans.

Uber isn't a thing here, and as it's a foreign country where we largely don't speak the language, getting a babysitter isn't an option.

Becca doesn't see the issue as she 'has the car seat' for a rental car and 'has to be sober anyway.' I'm NOT okay with having wild nights where a baby is present. I don't know that I could let anyone else get sloppy drunk either.

We now can't go to strip clubs unless they're extremely sketchy enough to let a CHILD in. We can't go to many bars. Ugh!

Becca completely ruined the bachelorette week, and I don't think I'm wrong to be furious about this. She's usually a good mother and was before this my most loyal friend who would move mountains to help out. But apparently she just has a massive gap in logical thinking that I didn't realize. AITA?

Later, the post was edited to include:

Edit for more infuriating detail: the rental car is more like a small bus. Only two people can drive stick. Becca is still nursing, but the child is 14 months old. This is a rental villa. WE DO NOT HAVE A CONCIERGE.

Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this one:

MightyMary007 said:

NTA. Bringing a kid to bachelorette activities without express permission from the bride is unacceptable. Maybe she has pregnancy brain and didn't think it through, but that doesn't make it okay. Are cabs a thing there? I say leave her at the hotel with the kid and go party.

Titleist3049 said:

NTA. Toddlers have no reason to be at a bachelor bachelorette weekend.

texas_ashley said:

NTA. If you all had discussed the week before and made plans to party and get wild, it was inappropriate for her to bring a child.

I’d go so far as to say that she knew that, which is why you didn’t hear about it beforehand. An “ask for forgiveness not permission” situation.

Also the bonding argument is bullshit. She’s only 14 weeks pregnant. I agree with you. I’d be furious that I had to change the plans for my bachelorette party and curb my behavior. Sorry this happened!

[deleted] said:

As you said “we figured” it sounds like you didn’t explicitly state no kids. It also sounds like you only want her to chauffeur you around, not join in any of your events. It doesn’t sound like you’ve planned many pregnant lady friendly events.

So she’s thinking, shit if I have to pay for a weeks vacation for the privilege of driving Mrs bride and her drunk friends all over the place I might as well enjoy time with my child. So all in all, let it slide. ESH.

[deleted] said:

NTA. I do understand people pointing out that she isn't drinking and it was never said explicitly but to bring the child, but come on. How you going to leave the country knowing you're going to be around crazy partying nonstop and think, 'perfect opportunity to bring my baby.' Becca is TA to you and her baby honestly.

GrayScale15 said:

ESH. Becca for bringing her toddler for a bachelorette week (week?!), the rest of the bridal party assuming Becca is fine chauffeuring everybody around for a week, whoever arranged the rental bus being a stick, the bride and groom having a destination wedding in a country with limited transportation and a huge language barrier. Idk, it seems like a lot of ‘assuming’ on everybody’s part. However, Becca should have cleared it with the bride first.

TheKappp said:

ESH. I agree with some other commenters that it this sounds poorly planned to have to depend on Becca so much. You mentioned that cabs to downtown are $100. So why didn’t you stay closer to downtown?

Yes, it sucks she brought her kid along. But what was really in this trip for her? She was just expected to leave her family for a whole week to drive drunk people around?

She’s an ahole for not asking if she could bring her kid. She should’ve asked. And when you said no, she shouldn’t have gone.

But then you’d have no one to drive you around. It sounds like she may have felt pressured and also realized this was going to be a lot of work and no fun for her. ESH. The bigger deal you make out of it, the worse this trip is going to go.

blobfish_brotha said:

I was gonna say everyone sucks (except the baby) until I saw your comment that she's still nursing. Just because baby is 14 months doesn't mean they're ready to wean, and that's no one's call to make except Becca's.

If you knew she was still nursing this should have been discussed in further detail beforehand. Learn to drive a stick, it's not that hard. YTA.

Since everyone is now on the edge of their seats, an update was luckily provided...

UPDATE: We are going to split the driving more between the two that can drive and keep most of the partying at home. So Becca and the groomsman will split the day/sightseeing driving, and Becca will do the night driving.

We've looked it up and apparently in Europe it's totally fine for kids of any age to be in bars, so we're just going to be THOSE people.

We're going to keep the heavier drinking to the villa, and are only going partying/clubbing one night, which Becca will do the driving for. There's a park and a 24 hour diner she can be in.

So, there you have it...

While the opinions were incredibly divided here, luckily it worked out for everyone involved. Good luck at the villa, ladies! Hopefully we'll get another update on the next phase of the drama.