'I gave my BF an ultimatum after his dog sent me to the ER. Am I overreacting?'

"I gave my BF an ultimatum after his dog sent me to the ER. Am I overreacting?"

Firstly, I LOVE DOGS. I LOVE ANIMALS AS A WHOLE. But my safety comes before them. My bf and I have been now living together for 7 months. When we met, he lived alone in an apartment with a 5 yr old male Belgian Malinois (for those who don’t know this breed, it’s the police dog used in k9).

When my bf brought the idea to me about living together, I was concerned about having such a large dog, who apparently was trained to attack and be a guard dog. My bf told me at the time he lived in an area where he was burglarized twice and since then got the dog for protection and trained him to be ruthless. I was obviously uncomfortable with this information.

I told him he would need to be in his cage inside of my apartment until the dog gets use to me. He agreed and moved in, I have since then fed the dog on my own in the mornings, allow him to smell me and give him a sit command before opening his cage. He has not shown me any aggression.

He is walked several times a day, but I know keeping this kind of dog in a cage is not ideal. We planned to purchase a home together with a yard so he can roam free, but with unfortunate financial burdens we have to post pone those plans. To get to the point, this past weekend I was on my balcony when my bf said he was going to bring the dog out on the balcony as well to get air.

I was fine with this. I decided to go inside to grab a blanket when the dog came out of the cage and charged at me. My back was turned and he bit down on to my butt cheek. When I screamed he let go and bite down again; it happened so fast I was in shock. My bf of course grabbed him and put him back in the cage to come to my aid. Blood was everywhere and I was in such shock that I didn’t realize I was still screaming.

My bf rushed me to the ER and when I got into the bed I said to him “you either move out and take your dog with you or give him up. It’s either me or him.” He was absolutely apologetic, in shock too and even cried. He kept repeating that no one is going to take him because of the aggression and he doesn’t want to put him down either.

I reminded him that we want a family one day and I will not be in a home with my children scared of their safety and mine. We would need a family dog that’s good with people especially kids. What if it was my face the dog attacked? What if it was his child? All this happened 4 days before my 35th birthday and I’m devastated. AITA?

NOTE: To clarify, I did not give my bf the ultimatum to either euthanize his dog or be with me. I SAID “YOU EITHER MOVE OUT WITH YOUR DOG OR GIVE HIM UP.” I would never encourage putting a dog to sleep! I’m the victim here and who’s the one telling my bf the dog needs to be rehomed with professionals who can retrain him.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

pineapplekimchi said:

He is the AH to you and to the dog. He did a disservice for training aggression without knowing how to control it, temper it, and provide living conditions suitable to the dog. Look up malinois rescues. Some will work with aggression and provide training with the goal of fostering and adoption.

Intelcourier said:

Keeping a large active dog in a cage in an apartment is animal abuse. That dog needs exercise. And not just a couple of walks each day. His aggression is being fueled by his abusive living situation. For the dog's sake as well as your safety he needs to be rehomed yesterday!

PeepingTara said:

So he got a dog that isn’t the best for a pet home (they are basically a weapon and not a pet because their drive is so intense) and does no sport or anything to channel all of the drive and then “trained” it to be “ruthless." What does that even mean?

It sounds like he encouraged every behavior you try and stop in a household pet. At this point the dog needs to go to a sport home that is familiar with the breed because giving it up to another pet home is dangerous and irresponsible, the only other option would be to put the dog down.

I wouldn’t surrender to a shelter even on the off chance it gets rehomed to someone with kids or elderly people who wouldn’t be able to fight off/escape if the dog decided to go after them. NTA but your boyfriend is an idiot. I also hope your butt cheek heals well!

Regular_Boot_3540 said:

NTA. He trained the dog to be aggressive, and now he needs to take responsibility.

TALKTOME0701 said:

NTA. I would report the dog to animal control. A dog who bites is more likely to bite again. You are not safe, nor are visitors and certainly not children. He raised an attack dog and that's what he got.

It must be devastating to know that he did not automatically remove the dog from your home. Now it's up to you. he is not the man for you, OP, and certainly not the man you want to be the father of your children.

dacaur said:

NTA. I love dogs. We have four of them, and we will never not have dogs. But if one of my dogs were to savagely attack somebody in my family like that without provocation, I would put it down, simple as that.