'AITA for getting mad about a Brita jug?' 'That's not a life I was looking forward to.'
"AITA for getting mad about a Brita jug?"
I always use the Brita filter in my fridge to fill my 40 oz tumbler in the morning. It had been a few days in a row where the jug would be empty before I could fill up my tumbler and I thought I was losing my mind because I was filling it like always.
I thought it might’ve been my boyfriend who doesn’t normally use the filter so I decided to ask him. I didn’t want to sound accusatory so I asked “Hey, have you been using the Brita for water in the night recently?!”
He replied “Yeah I’ve used it to fill up my glass." I said “Oh okay that makes sense, I haven’t been having enough water to fill my tumbler in the morning and thought I was losing my mind! Do you think you’d be able to just top it up if you use it in the middle of the night so I can have enough in the morning?!”
I thought it would be a simple “yes, I didn’t even realize!! I will do that from now on”. Instead, he told me I was ridiculous for needing a full 40 oz of water in the morning and that he shouldn’t be expected to fill up the Brita every time he wanted a glass of water.
There have been other instances like if I left a few dishes in the sink, he washed his own and left mine. They have all added up to really bother me and when I brought it up again, he basically repeated the same thing. He also said that I shouldn’t even need that much water, that I could always fill it up wherever I was going, etc, etc.
Basically: if you want to fill your water…that’s not my problem and you should be the one checking its full at night (which I always do, except he was using it in the middle of the night when I was asleep).
I told him that if my partner isn’t willing to do something as simple as taking a few second to fill a jug so I can have enough water to fill my cup in the morning, that was incredibly selfish and not a life I was looking forward to.
We’ve been together for almost 4 years and been through each other’s side for a lot. Our relationship isn’t abusive, there’s been no cheating or anything so now I’m wondering if I’m just blowing this out of proportion.
To me, it’s more about the principle not the incident. Like if you loved someone, you should want to help them out in small ways like that? But maybe I’m being unreasonable? Idk help!! AITA?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Sami_George said:
NTA. This is the part where I’d get petty. Fill up your tumbler the night before and leave the brita almost empty. Just enough to give him like 2-4 tablespoons of water in a cup. When he gets upset, “Why are you so upset?? It’s not like you have to drink that much water anyway. It’s the middle of the night!” Or whatever. But I’m an AH.
NTA. It was one thing before he knew he was leaving you short but now he knows and is going out of his way to justify not helping you out instead of taking the two seconds to fill it. I know everyone loves to jump to breaking up and obviously I don't know your relationship.
But if this is how he acts when he's asked to do small things to help you now how do you think he'll act if you end up in an accident or getting sick in the future and need assistance? To me the Brita is a small part of a potentially much bigger issue.
Jasna_Aboza said:
NTA, but he hates you.
EffableFornent said:
Nta. He's just being generally childish and inconsiderate. If you're setting up the Brita and he's refusing to leave enough for you, he can drink tap water water. Easy.
heggy48 said:
NTA. My husband preps my coffee machine for me every night so it’s ready for me the next morning. He hates coffee but knows I really appreciate it. He also re-fills the filter jug after! These are not big things if you like and respect someone.
ViolaVetch75 said:
NTA, If he can't be bothered to use basic etiquette like filling it up when he uses it, then he should stop using it and get his own. You have a routine and he is messing with it and you're absolutely right that he's being selfish and lazy.
The big question of course is -- if he refuses to refill it when it's half empty, when WOULD he refill it? Is he going to keep drinking from the jug that you refill for the rest of your lives? This may be a metaphor for the relationship...