"AITA for getting the MOH kicked out of the bridal party?"
I (41 female) and a bridesmaid in my friends wedding. Originally, the bridesmaid of honor was in charge of planning things. From the start, she was intense. (It started with all of us agreeing to having the bachelorette party Saturday into Sunday and we would all carpool...
...And then it was told by the MOH and the MOH best friend planning something separate the night before because they wanted a Friday to Sunday. I spoke up saying we agreed and now the party would be missing the rest of the bridal party.
MOH said this was her “wedding gift” from her and the MOH Best friend and it was separate from the bachelorette party. I said we would have been better off not knowing but they had to tell us cause we other bridesmaids had to find our own way to the actual bachelorette party spot that only aloud one car as there was not much parking/holiday weekend.
They would have the only car. That’s when all the drama really started.) She sent extremely long text think pages in pages accused me of being passive aggressive whenever I voiced an opinion and seem to want full control over the bachelorette trip and bridal party.
Eventually, it escalated into personal attacks she sent me a rant, calling me, insecure childish, and told me to get help. She literally sent me a link to a HOSPITAL website. I clap back a little sarcastically, telling her to keep my name out of her mouth and that I was unbothered.
At one point, I even told another bridesmaid I might step down completely because I didn’t want to add more stress for the bride. The other bridesmaid reassured me that the bride wanted me there, but admitted that the MOH had snapped at her too and that this behavior was stressing everyone out.
Well, eventually, things boiled over the bride found out how bad it had gotten, and she ended up kicking the MOH out of the wedding party altogether since then things have been so much smoother the bridesmaid actually get along no more giant essays or meltdowns.
Now here’s my dilemma the ex made of honor clearly blames me for getting kicked out. She’s been telling people I cause drama, that I was talking behind her back, and that I got her removed. I don’t feel like that’s fair.
She created chaos all on her own, but since I did complain about her behavior and pushback, I guess in a way I did contribute. So, am I the ahole for for getting the maid of honor kicked out of the wedding?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
ServelanDarrow said:
NTA. She got herself kicked out.
Upset-Valuable-2086 said:
NTA. You didn’t kick the MOH out of the bridal party. Two other people did: the MOH by behavior & bride as consequence of MOH’s behavior and valuing the rest of the bridal party more.
cherryblushiesh said:
Nah you’re not the ahole. She dug her own grave with the drama and the essays. You venting about her behavior isn’t the same as getting her kicked out. the bride saw the mess for herself and made that call.
WineOrDeath said:
NTA. It is completely appropriate for you to stand up for yourself against bad behavior. The setting is irrelevant. You don't have to be treated disrespectfully and just stand there and take it.
CaffeineCompiler8001 said:
NTA. The MOH dug her own grave with her behavior and stressing out the entire bridal party. It was the bride who made the call to kick her out. Maybe she saw through the chaos and who caused it. If anything, you tried to step back to avoid adding drama, which shows you were being considerate. The fact that things instantly got smoother once she was gone says everything.
bookynerdworm said:
NTA but you're always going to be the villain in her story. So let her run her mouth and do your best to support the bride.
Outrageous_Ad_3611 said:
NTA, she was treating you and other bridesmaids horribly. The Bride obviously wasn’t going to tolerate that. She got herself kicked out.