'AITA for getting my niece to move in with me, then charging her rent?'
"AITA for getting my niece to move in with me, then charging her rent?"
A few months ago my niece, Charlotte (20) called me saying she was kicked out after an argument with her mom. She was saying that she was already paying $500 per month and they were asking her to pay another $300, while not charging her siblings anything.
I called her parents to get their side of the story. My brother immediately said to send her back because his wife didn’t mean it when she told Charlotte to get out.
After a while he did confirm what Charlotte said about having to pay but tried to justify it by saying she could afford it because she was working and that their car insurance went up because she was in a car accident (so minor that there was no damage to her car and you had to zoom in to see the scratch on the other car).
Ignoring the fact that all of their kids had been in accidents, including one of them totaling their car and causing significant damage to 2 others and then being given a new car two weeks later.
I told Charlotte that she was welcome to live with me and the girls so we went back to her parents house, packed her stuff, got her important documents, returned her car, and took her back to my house. I got her a bank account that’s only in her name, loaned her money to buy a new-ish car, and helped her enroll in community college.
She’s studying early childhood education, teaches a mommy and me class once a week, and she babysits 2-4 days a week. Before she agreed to move in, I told her she was going to help contribute but nothing like her parents. She pays me $250 per month in rent. This goes into an account that’s only will be saved and invested for her.
She has access to the account. She also pays $100 per month for groceries. She gets $50 per month from the school for groceries, so she really only pays $50. I split her car insurance with her, which on her new plan comes out to $170 per month, her share is $85. I loaned her $4,500 for her car, so she’s paying me $150 per month to pay that off.
Gas is around $80 per month, but she gets another $50 per month from school so for now it’s $30. Then we talked about how much she makes from her class and babysitting, how many hours per month she needs to work to cover her expenses, and how much she should work so she can have spending money and money put aside in case she has a bad month.
Charlotte still speaks to her siblings and was talking about living with me, paying for herself, and learning how to budget. Now her parents are furious that I convinced her to move out over paying rent when I’m having her do the same thing.
AITA for having her pay rent and other expenses?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
sow3rdoe wrote:
NTA, unless Im missing something I think you're teaching her some really valuable financial literacy. It seems like her parents have a problem with favoritism and you should let them know that.
OP responded:
I’ve tried. they either refuse to see it or refuse to admit it.
ImpossibleAd73767 wrote:
NTA your niece is lucky to have you in her life.
OP responded:
Thank you.
cruelsummerswiftie wrote:
I’d say NTA because it sounds like you’re doing this all with her interests in mind and saving for her while also making sure the extra person in the house doesn’t make too significant of a financial dent on your part, whereas her parents seemed to just be doing it to get the money from her and cover her siblings’ mistakes. Charlotte's lucky to have you.
OP responded:
It’s less about making sure she doesn’t cause financial strain and more about teaching her to budget, pay bills, etc.
Its like adulting with training wheels.
jmgolden33 wrote:
INFO: Did you explain to your brother in the same level of detail as you've done here? I could imagine if they just heard that you're charging rent with no additional context, it might seem like you're trying to undermine them...
But if they understand all that and still just want to profit, that's different.
OP responded:
I tried. They still think it’s the same thing and that I’m using her for extra income and free babysitting since I’m a single mom.
OpenedSesame wrote:
NTA - my dad offered me basically the same rent option when I finished school and was still living at home. It taught me so much about caring for myself, meeting the minimum expectations to become a functioning adult in society and set me up with a smell nest egg for a down payment on an apartment once I decided to move out.
Her parents suck and are the AH’s because they only see dollars instead of their daughter trying to make a life for herself. You are literally setting her for success and it is wild they can’t see that.
knoblesan wrote:
NTA- your niece chose to leave and move out based on being told to move out. She is still paying rent, though reduced and seems happy with her decision. Parents should respect that, and simply offer she can come back if ever she changes her mind.
Uubilicious_the_wise wrote:
Paying rent at a cheaper rate with cheaper overheads, cash coming back to her, a loan and learning a life skill in budgeting? You're a godsend!
NTA. Her parents are just pissed that you're showing them up.
Limp_Collection7322 wrote:
NTA the "rent" portion isn't really rent to you. It's going into a savings account for her, that is a huge difference. The other portions for groceries and the car aren't rent expenses either and it sounds like you're teaching her where each dollar is going.