'AITA for getting my son a luxury car but refusing to give money to my ex wife’s kids?'

"AITA for getting our son a luxury car when I never give money to my Ex Wife’s kids?"

I 47M have one son 16M with my Ex-wife 44F “Anna” we actually have an okay relationship but things just didn’t work out because I put my career first and she’s more of a “follow your heart” kind of person (financially irresponsible).

We divorced when she was pregnant with our son and then she had his brother 15M and sister 14F. Anna always complains that I have money to spend on our son but I never spend anything on his siblings when their dad (her husband) gets my son things.

While that’s nice of him I’m not interested in the whole blended family thing, I have one child and that’s it. So I don’t buy them birthday or Christmas gifts, take them on vacation or anything like that but of course I get my son those things.

And there’s always a fight when I take our son out of school to travel, she thinks it’s unfair to his siblings and I’m making him fall behind but I that’s honestly not the reason she’s just in denial…

He turned 16 last week and I got him his dream car which is was a “luxury” car. But the way I see it any car is a luxury since any new model car can be expensive so I don’t think it makes him that spoiled, it would be one thing if I was breaking the bank but since I’m not and he’s my only son he should have whatever he likes.

Anna is overprotective in my opinion, she accused me of getting him a car he could “kill himself” with. And she was upset because with the money I could have gotten all three kids cars or at least money for ones in the future… I got mad too, because first of all her kids aren’t old enough to drive in the and when they do get old enough why would I be the one to buy them a car?

I might be the ass because I did call her THAT word, in front of our son and I told her I didn’t care about her kids when she pointed out I never get gifts for their birthdays or holidays. She said I was heartless but that’s just how I really feel, I don’t want to be anything to them. Right now I have the car because she won’t let him keep it at her house which just feels petty.

What do you think? AITA? This is what commenters had to say:

2muchlooloo2 said:

Your wife and her new husband have a blended family you have your son and your son only. Yes it’s nice that her husband is buying gifts for your son because that is his stepson. Her children ..are not your stepchildren. She is weirdly delusional.

ScarletteMayWest said:

Anna needs to understand that her kids are nothing to you, whereas your son is her husband's stepson. That is not the same at all. You do not owe them trips, birthday presents or cars. As long as you are not teaching your son to mistreat his half-siblings, everything is good.

Not going to say anything about the car because we bought our son a brand-new car when he was sixteen, but that's because it was hail-damaged. Figured that way he had a safe car that already had damage, so a few dents would not matter. NTA.

OP responded:

Exactly, none of them are the type to get into fights with each other and they all seem to get along. I’d say everything’s good.

KittiesRule1968 said:

NTA, your ex is delusional, they're her kids, not yours.

Strange-Badger7263 said:

NTA. It’s your money, buy your kid whatever you want. I also think it’s a bit ridiculous for her to expect you to buy her other kids anything. You aren’t related to them in any way. Her new husband is your son’s stepfather which means they are related by marriage of course he bus them stuff.

CptKUSSCryAllTheTime said:

What 16yr old gets their dream car? And you should tell your ex wife to tell her husband to leave your son out of anything, like gifts or vacations bc he’s your son and that’s your responsibility not his.

Have them leave him at home with you while they go on their vacations, and to forget about getting him gifts bc YOU are the Dad. See how things turn out then. *your son is lucky to have a stepdad like him. I give him all the accolades for being an awesome dad to a kid he that isn’t his.

And OP responded:

My son has a card connected to my bank so he can pay for whatever he wants so I thinks it’s odd he pays for things… I’m not ungrateful for the things he does but to me it’s just unnecessary.