'AITA for not getting rid of my cats for my pregnant best friend?' 'I’m being selfish.'
"AITA for not getting rid of my cats for my pregnant best friend?"
I 22F have lived alone since the beginning of this year in a 2b 2bath condo. I have one cat who is my pet, but I also volunteer with a local cat rescue organization. It’s fairly often that I temporarily foster cats/kittens anywhere from just 1 night-2 weeks at most, until we clear them to be placed in our shelter, or with another foster, or they are adopted.
Usually I take in 1 foster at a time, but at times it’s 2 if they’re siblings, bonded, etc. Recently this summer, my best friend ‘Kristy’ 23F moved in with me because she was on very bad/hostile terms with her mom and stepdad who she lived with, and it was safer for her to move out.
I of course offered her to stay with me, and she's been in the spare bedroom since. However last month, Kristy found out she’s pregnant from her bf. They have a plan to get their own place asap she says, but I truly don’t mind if she stays here as long as she needs.
Given that she’s pregnant, when she told her mom last week, her mom wanted to come over and talk things over. So she came here on Thursday and they talked privately for about 2 hours. When they came out it seemed like it was a good chat and they were more relaxed.
But, her mom kinda turned her attention towards me and said “if Kristy’s going to be living here, you need to do something about the cats.” I asked what she meant, and she mentioned toxoplasmosis, the litter boxes, number of cats here, etc. and started getting an attitude towards me and said “you guys should’ve thought of this already.”
I let her know we did actually; and there’s an extremely low to no risk of toxoplasmosis. I only have one cat (my own) in the main house, who doesn’t go into Kristy’s room. Kristy also has 0 obligations or responsibilities for my cats, I let her know that the minute she moved in.
All litter boxes are cleaned minimum twice daily, and aren’t even anywhere near Kristy. My cats litter box is kept in the garage (she has a cat door) and any foster cats I have are kept in my master bathroom. It’s a large bathroom and adapted to be safe for a temporary foster.
The only interaction Kristy has is if she happens to be in the living room/hallway/kitchen with my cat at the same time, so contact is extremely limited. I also want to add, all cats I foster are up to date with the vet, spayed/neutered, and exclusively indoor cats only.
After explaining all this to Kristy’s mom, I told her that at most I would be willing to possibly limit the fosters I bring in, but I will absolutely not be getting rid of my cat. She told me “well yours is the biggest risk here.” ALSO she tried to suggest that I should stop volunteering with cats altogether until Kristy moved out or until the baby is born.
Kristy tried interrupting her mom to calm down because she kept going on about how I’m being selfish, I’m not realizing that she’s carrying another life now, not considering the risks, etc. but given their relationship, she was very on edge with her mom which I understand.
I love my best friend, but I will not be getting rid of my pet in my own home that was here before she was. I’m willing to adapt and limit fosters, but I genuinely do not think I’m risking anyone’s health here and don’t want to stop volunteering. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
sickofdriving007 said:
NTA. As long as she’s not scooping the litter boxes she should be fine. If her mom is so concerned maybe she should step up and be a better parent to her daughter so she can live with her.
TheSannens said:
NTA, your house, your cat. Her baby is not your responsibility AND as long as she stays away from the litter box she’s fine. Sincerely, a pregnant woman whose indoor cat is currently sleeping on her lap.
jmbbl said:
NTA. Plenty of pregnant women live with cats and are just fine. I suspect Kristy's mom is doing this to pressure her to move back home, where she can then have more control over her daughter.
FuzzyMom2005 said:
NTA. You don't want to get rid of the cats. Kristy doesn't want you to get rid of the cats. This is a non-issue. If Kristy has such a toxic relationship with her mom, her mom should not be coming to your house. Let Kristy go to hers if she can't go NC.
throwaway113022 said:
NTA. Ignore Kristy’s mom she doesn’t know what she is talking about. If you are going to limit anything in YOUR home it should be to limit Kristy’s mom visitation.
Waste_Worker6122 said:
NTA. Cats were there first. Kirsty's Mom was so toxic that Kirsty had to move out. Seems to me that Kirsty's Mom is just trying to stir shit. Maybe tell Kristy's Mom if she actually acted like a Mom her daughter wouldn't have had to have moved out in the first place.
T_G_A_H said:
NTA. They should talk to a vet for reassurance. There’s no risk unless she is scooping the litter boxes and had direct contact with cat feces. Many pregnant women live with cats.