'AITA for getting the ick after my BF got me fake designer jewelry and tried to pass it off as real?'

"Am I wrong for getting the ick after my boyfriend got me a fake Van Cleef bracelet?"

So, this all started Christmas time when I (26f) was told by my boyfriend(28m) he was getting me something he knows I’ll love. He kept hyping it up and he knows I love little surprises so it became something I thought about. Christmas Eve rolls around and he tells me as his grandparents are on the way that he has to leave to LA to go get my present..

Well long story short I ask that he stay considering his grandparents speak only Spanish. I know how to say agua and count to ten so I told him I rather him stay and he can just get it next time he goes to LA(he works out there). He finally agrees and again later that night even shows his aunt a picture of what he got me without me seeing and her jaw dropped saying it was gorgeous.

Time passes and I never get this “gift”… I feel weird bringing it up, but I decided to ask after about a month and he tells me he hasn’t gotten a chance to pick it up since Christmas Eve (he literally works in LA). Well, I got impatient and I went through his messages and found he had texted someone about the fake van cleefs they had and if they really were passing as real, price, etc.

I even saw the messages about him cancelling to pick it up on Christmas Eve so I KNOW that’s where he got it. I say nothing because at this point there is no point. I don’t even have the bracelet(yet)

Well, Valentine’s Day rolls around and the last gift he gives me is in a van cleef bag. I open it and of course it’s a gorgeous bracelet with diamonds, a serial number, the whole 9 yards.

I immediately remembered the text though and just played it off saying how beautiful it was as this man proceeds to tell me he had to get me something nice because he couldn’t let me walk around with nothing next to him as he wears his 40 thousand dollar chain… The whole time I’m knowing in my head the VC is not real so his comments were giving me serious ICK.

I did some digging on how to spot dupes of VC and I decided to register it on the website with the serial number. The wrong piece came up even though the serial number did in fact work. Plus, the bag and box was fake. I mentioned it to him by saying something along the lines of “babe I’m so sorry, but I think you got scammed… This bracelet might be fake."

The whole time he is acting shocked that it was fake. He still claims to this day he had no idea, took it back and says he has a 10k credit with that jeweler and is going to get me something else with the credit when I know he only paid 1.5k… And before anyone comes for me, it’s not about the fact that it’s fake VC, it’s about the fact that he lied and continues to, to this day.

I took it to a jeweler to get it tested and the only thing fake about it was that it wasn’t from VC so I don’t see why he didn’t just get me a cute diamond bracelet or something.

EDIT: I’m the mother of his 3 children and we have been together for four years. Also, as crazy as it may sound especially after reading all the responses, I never told him I know the truth because part of me genuinely feels bad for ruining his surprise. I still wanted to keep it even after “we” found out it was fake because it was still a gift and I’m a really sentimental person.

I let his dig himself a hole though when he lied to me about the price because I told him if it is fake it makes the bracelets value go down significantly and it wouldn’t make sense to keep a bracelet you “spent 10k on” if it’s only worth about 1.5k. He couldn’t argue with that unless he was going to be honest and tell me he never actually spent the 10k.

ALSO, I’ve only seen one person bring up that I went through his phone so far and while I usually would never and disagree with it going through your partners phone, he was throwing hints that he was getting an engagement ring designed for me because his friend had gotten engaged to his now fiancé and they haven’t even been together as long as him and I and like I said, we also have kids.

I had a suspicion he was just telling me that because he didn’t want me to think that he is only going to propose now because his friend did. He wanted me to think he was already planning it(which, you guessed it, he wasn’t).

That’s why I went through his phone because I knew he was lying and knew what text threads to look at because I know his jewelers. I didn’t add that to the original post because I wasn’t trying to make this too long.

EDIT 2: While I will say he is dumb for this one, we live very comfortably, but definitely below our means. He splurges on things HE likes/wants/needs, but will question the littlest purchase I make when he doesn’t see the value in something. I’m sorry if this post seems out of touch, but I’ve seen a few people bring up finances as if these purchases are irresponsible.

For our lifestyle, they are not which definitely adds to my confusion in all of this. He has mentioned he cut back on buying me nice things because I don’t take care of them… Maybe that’s why? I genuinely don’t know. Sounds silly and out of touch, I know. I did not grow up this way so trust me, I see how ridiculous this sounds.

P.s. guys, the chain is 100% real. He has the papers to prove it and he got it from a very reputable jeweler. He is a watch collector as well with watches ranging well over the amount of the chain. I just brought up the chain to give context and everyone ran with the chain comment

What do you think? AITA? This is what commenters had to say:

Sufficient-Berry-827 said:

I don't think you're wrong to be upset that he's lying to you. But, ngl, you're dating a man that wears a 40k gold chain - ew, girl.

yungdaughter said:

Three kids in four years with this dude is crazy.

BumCadillac said:

There’s no way his chain actually cost $40,000. Stop believing the sh!t he sells you. I bet you guys are in an ass load of debt and you have no idea about any of it. I’d run a credit check on him before marrying him! Also three kids in the first four years is ridiculous.

OP responded:

No debt aside from waiting on business investments, credit score in the 800’s, 7 figure savings.

_Pear7 said:

What does he do for a living? This is the make or break question. 7 figure savings? No one with 7 figures keeps it in savings, that money is kept in stock index funds with an advisor. I say this as someone who would know firsthand.

OP responded:

To be completely honest I know it is not sitting in a bank, but I know aside from investments, there is an emergency fund somewhere that is over seven figures more than likely spread across a few different ways. Three years ago, it was just over 7 figures.

I can’t really get into what he does, as I feel I have already shared too much trying to get people to understand our lifestyle, but he does a little bit of everything aside from his main source of income… dabbles in commercial real estate for fun, and is getting into day trading as a hobby.

Because of what he does for work and his lifestyle he is very private and as weird as it may sound to some, as long as the bills are paid and I’m able to buy/do what I want, he believes there’s no need to discuss finances(that’s what his mentors have taught him; I don’t necessarily agree).

So my knowledge doesn’t go too far other than I hear the convos he has with business partners, tax guy, and friends to piece together the rest because he IS private about that stuff and I genuinely don’t know the state of our finances out of what I piece together myself.

kankrikky said:

3 children in 4 years? If you're happy, be happy. But it's very weird that you can't just have an honest conversation about it all and it's much weird that you're okay with it. Enjoy!

VFTM said:

Ohhh he’s dishonest and talks down to you but he’s impregnated you three times by age 26, without marrying you but dangling engagement like a carrot.

_delicja_ said:

So you quit working to be with a financially abusive liar and have 3 kids with him. Ick is the least of your problems, how are you planning on securing your future and well being? And your children for that matter.

.....any further thoughts?

We'll keep you posted if there are any further updates.