'AITA for breaking up with my gf because she's friends with a guy who cheated with her?'
"AITA for breaking up with my gf because she's friends with a guy who cheated with her?"
Rare_Character_1272
My girlfriend has this male friend, let's call him Mike.
Mike is recently divorced.
The other night, I was hanging out with some of my girlfriend's friends. My girlfriend wasn't there by the way. One of her friends brought up Mike, and how the divorce has been hard on him.
Another friend said it was his own damn fault for sleeping with my girlfriend's name.
I was like "whoa what?!"
I asked for more details, and turns out Mike slept with my girlfriend while he was married, his wife found out, and then they divorced. This happened about a year and a half ago. I've been with my girlfriend for about a year.
I talked to my girlfriend the next time I saw her, I took a couple days to digest the information. I did text her that I needed some time for myself and I'll talk to her when I'm ready. The next time we meet up, I decided I was going to break up with her.
See, she's still close friends with Mike, as they hang out regularly, both group and 1 on 1. I wasn't crazy about, but I figured I should trust my girlfriend, until now. I realized I was too uncomfortable with their friendship now, as well as the fact she never mentioned this to me.
She asked why and I told her the truth. I told her I don't like that she's friends with Mike with this new information, and that I wasn't gonna tell her who she can be friends with, but I'm not gonna be a part of this.
My girlfriend yelled at me, and said that if I asked, she'd would stop hanging out with Mike. I still decided to break up, but to be honest I don't think my gf would take me back even if I changed my mind in that moment.
I guess my question is two fold. AITA for my reason to break up with her and AITA for not asking her to cut off Mike, or giving her a chance to? It's a bit late now, but I'd still like to know.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
SquareSpare8723
Ex-girlfriend is a homewrecker. Move on and find someone better.
HoldFastO2
This, yeah. Shouldn't really matter all that much whether or not she's still hanging out with the guy, she was a party to cheating.
Just_Two_3634
NTA. Good move. If dude was sleeping with the girl while he was married, what do you think is gonna happen when he is now divorced and GF is stil hanging out with him one-on-one (which is pretty much a date in every continent). And she is yelling at you for feeling "WTF"? She deserved to be dumped.
Illustrious_Fix2933
That is the kind of thing that should have been done long ago on the gf’s part. Before being exclusive with OP, she should have shared this information with him and cut Mike off, ON HER OWN.
The fact that she not only helped him cheat on his wife and was an active reason for the marriage crumbling, coupled with how she STILL continues to hang out with him 1 on 1, is MORE THAN ENOUGH reason to break up and never look back. Her morals are not in the right place; that’s a VERY bad quality in a potential partner.
TwoBionicknees
NTA. It's her friend, knew he was married and helped destroy a marriage by having sex with him and then proceeds to be and stay his friend in the group. She doesn't give a f about cheating, so faking not being friends with him because you ask doesn't change anything, she's a cheater and is happily friends with a cheater.
She also let you hang around with Mike and her with them all knowing and not telling you, and even that alone would make me break up with someone. She's just dishonest and a bad person all around.
The OP responded here:
Rare_Character_1272
Mike is not really "part of the group". As he's only a casual acquaintance to the group I hung out with. I'd say I'm closer to everyone in the group than Mike is, so I'm not upset with the friends for not telling me. They said they thought I already knew.
Illustrious_Pain392
I can promise you right now if you have began with 'I know what you did with mike. if you want this relationship to work, you need to cut him loose.' She'd have had a hissy fit and said you're controlling and insecure.
You took that whole conversation out of the equation and dropped her, hence her insistence that she'd have dropped him as a friend, 'if you asked'. You dodged a bullet my friend. This woman is a low class woman. The fact that she was willing to sleep with a married man is ample evidence that she'd do the same to you as well.