'AITA for telling my GF's friend she can't eat the food I cooked since it's unhygienic?'
"AITA for telling my GF's friend she can't eat the food I cooked since it's unhygienic?"
It was a typical Sunday, my day off. As a 29-year-old Indian doctor living abroad, Sundays were my time to relax, hone my cooking skills, and catch up on sleep. My girlfriend of one year, who is 28, shared the day with me at home.
This particular Sunday, I decided to prepare a simple chicken curry with rice a dish my girlfriend enjoys. Unlike butter chicken, this version uses onions in the base instead of tomatoes. (Idk why I told you all this but yeah)
Three of my girlfriend's friends were coming over that afternoon. I’d met two of them multiple times, but one was a new acquaintance. They had plans for a casual get-together. Generally, when I cook on such occasions, my girlfriend and her friends insist I join them, which I don't mind. They're good company.
I was finishing up the cooking when they arrived. As they chatted in the living room, I put on my headphones to listen to music while wrapping up in the kitchen. Afterward, I stepped out to ask if they’d prefer lunch now or later.
Everyone agreed to eat immediately, except for the new girl. She commented, “I don’t think I’d like Indian food—it’s unhygienic.” While I mentally raised an eyebrow and chuckled, I refrained from reacting outwardly. My girlfriend, however, was visibly annoyed, and her other friends were quick to call out the remark as inappropriate. One of them even added, “That wasn’t nice to say.”
I assured everyone I wasn’t offended, explaining that stereotypes about Indian food often stem from street food and hygiene misconceptions, so I understood where the remark might come from. With that, I returned to the kitchen to finalize the meal.
My girlfriend followed me and jokingly (I think?) said she felt like committing [ ]. I told her not to stress over it, as I don’t take remarks from people I don’t care about to heart.
When it was time to eat, my girlfriend set the table while I brought out the curry. Everyone else enjoyed the meal and gave me plenty of compliments, which was nice to hear. Midway through the meal, the new guest, despite her earlier remark, expressed a sudden interest in trying the food.
Here’s where I might have acted immaturely. I closed the lid on the dish and told her, “I don’t think you should eat this—it’s unhygienic, remember?” She seemed visibly upset and left the house shortly after.
I half-expected my girlfriend to be upset with me, but instead, she said, “Good riddance,” and her other friends reassured me that I’d done nothing wrong. They even mentioned they preferred my company over hers, which was flattering. I joked about liking their company too but still preferring my Sunday blanket, which made everyone laugh. So, was I in the wrong for closing the lid? so AITA?
Edit 1 - I assured everyone I wasn’t offended (I think i was mildly annoyed but I decided not so say it out loud).
Also, OP shared this recipie for Bihari chicken in the comments.
Here's what people had to say to OP (and his responses):
YTA - you claimed you weren’t offended but clearly were, which was fine. She was being a jerk for no reason. I would’ve preferred stoicism from a fellow dude. If it bothered you, just admit it up front. Don’t be passive aggressive.
I wasn't passive agressive i would say I was trying to make a joke (my tone clearly wasn't serious) and she wasnt able to take the joke and left. My next words were gonna be just kidding have some or something.
… wait, why didnt you? It takes a second. Now I think you are making this whole thing up. Oh god you made this up. Ugh.
Sure think whatever you wanna think. 😅. The thing is while we (me and my gf) were in the kitchen for the duration of 2 mins bringing out the cutlery and stuff. There is a possibility that my gfs friend said something to her perhaps about the comment or something.
When we went back and took our seat and started to eat while joking complimenting here and there. She spoke - can I have some. Now I was in fun mood - I added - Hey it's unhygienic won't you get stomachache if you eat it (closes the lid).
Now what I wanted to add in a moment was just kidding I didn't get the chance to do so. She stood up and left in anger. This was the reason I was scared to see what my gf would say i mean had she (the girl) known I was joking and left. I wouldn't give a f^%$ but I was unable to tell that. (So yeah)
NTA. Like i love curries but sometimes you do get sick...even from the best prepared food. The over indulgence, the spices if you are not familiar with them etc. It's not a knock on your cooking skills.
Please don't take it that way. It was wise not to risk anything coming out afterwards that would have cemented her racist beliefs. You handled it well. She made a dick of herself. You got an extra portion of chicken curry. Why waste it on her? Clearly not worthy of it.